Strict adherence to the principles of etiquette and social norms is what made the Englishman of the second half of the 19th century a model of decency and good manners in the eyes of his descendants. Many of the norms of behavior of this era have not lost their relevance today. the site selected 30 rules from the pocket edition of every well-bred Victorian (Martine’s Hand-Book of Etiquette, and Guide to True Politeness), which would not harm a modern gentleman to follow.
Modesty in a suit is always preferable, as it endears others to the wearer.
A modest person is rarely the object of envy.
Think like wise men, but talk like the people around you.
Being a good listener is a great talent that is not easy to develop. A well-educated person should possess it, no matter how hard it may be for him.
Every well-mannered person knows how to remove his hat gracefully.
Well-bred people rarely wear the latest fashions. This is the privilege of dandies and posers. However, dressing well is a great virtue.
Lord Chesterfield said: “Excessive clothing implies an erroneous perception of the world.”
Prudence and honorable behavior, like silver money, are always valuable.
Every parent should teach their child the art of using cutlery. There is nothing more frustrating than finding yourself in front of a dish that you don't know how to eat correctly.
Lord Chesterfield said: “Dancing is a trifling and stupid activity, but it is a form of social madness into which even sensible people must indulge from time to time.”
If you are accompanying your wife to a dance party, never dance with her except for the very first dance.
The women's restroom is a place where no gentleman should ever go.
Gentlemen should not gather in groups and leave ladies unattended.
When walking up stairs with ladies, walk to their side or in front, but not behind them.
When passing lonely ladies on the street, do not speed up or slow down. Do not look too closely at the dress of such ladies.
When receiving guests, do everything possible to make them feel at home. Simply inviting them to feel at home is not enough.
One conversation with an idle person is enough to hear everything he knows in this life.
It is not enough to simply nod to a lady you meet on the street or simply touch your hat. The headdress must be removed; this is a sign of basic respect for her gender.
A man who accompanies a lady while smoking a cigar questions her reputation.
A gentleman should not stand in hotel doorways or on street corners watching ladies pass by.
When a man marries, all his past relationships must end, unless he hints at a desire to renew them.
Don't be selfish, but give in on little things.
Sketch for an engraving for the Journal des dames et des modes (“Ladies and Fashion Magazine”). 1803-1804 You can download stickers for Telegram based on images from the main fashion magazine in France.
Gentleman's Appearance
Be careful when choosing clothes. It is unknown who you will meet today, so it is better not to leave the house at all than to leave it poorly dressed. Bright colors and lots of decorations are not befitting of a gentleman.
Tobacco box, a watch, cufflinks, sleeve buttons, a watch chain and one ring are all the jewelry that a well-dressed man can afford to wear.
Hire a good tailor after all, a suit of rough cloth, which is well cut and fits you perfectly, will be a much more elegant piece of your wardrobe than a poorly made thing from the most expensive material.
Every detail of your suit should be neat. From the curl of your hair to the tip of your shoe, everything should give the impression of perfection. However, after you look at yourself in the mirror before going out, you should forget about your clothes. There is nothing worse than a man who fusses in society because of his appearance - rolling up his sleeves, playing with his mustache, pulling at his collar or constantly adjusting the knot of his tie. Once dressed, do not try to change anything in your suit until you are back in the dressing room.
Let your hair, beard and mustache will always be perfectly smooth, well laid out and spotlessly clean.
Morning outfit. 1803Journal des dames et des modes, Costume parisien / Rijksmuseum
Business suit. 1808Journal des dames et des modes, Costume parisien / Rijksmuseum
Gentleman at the table
It may seem like eating- an extremely simple thing, but there is no other situation in which a gentleman and a vulgar person differ so much as at the table.
Well mannered man when receiving an invitation to dine with a friend, he responds without delay, regardless of whether he accepts it or not.
If you came by invitation and find that there are no ladies among the guests, you can go to the table with any gentleman standing next to you, or with the one with whom you were talking at the moment you were called to the table. If your companion is older than you, he is subject to the same rules of courtesy that you would apply if he were a lady.
Cover your chest with a napkin- an outdated habit, and now also considered vulgar.
You should never roll up your sleeves like you're going to wash your hands. Some men do this, but this is a sign of bad upbringing.
If in lettuce leaves or on a plate of fruit If you see a worm or insect, hand it over to the servants without any comment. They'll bring you another one.
Eating a lot is disgusting. However, if you eat too little, your owner may think that you are disgusted by his treat.
Always use a common salt spoon sugar tongs and butter knife. By using your own knife, spoon, or fingers, you demonstrate the shocking need for good parenting.
Remember that your fork serves only to carry food from the plate to the mouth, and that a gentleman never eats from a knife.
Never blow on soup if it is hot, wait until it cools down.
Never don't order soup twice.
Always wipe your lips before drinking from a glass, for nothing looks as bad as the fat from your lips imprinted on the glass.
Maintain sobriety; never drink more than one type of wine at the table and generally do not show zeal in this matter.
Do not put fruit or candy in your pocket, to take them with you.
Gentleman on the street
Don't smoke outside before dark and take the cigar out of your mouth if you meet a lady.
Walking with a lady or gentleman, who is older than you, let them walk along the part of the street that is closer to the houses.
Walking with a lady or just passing by her, Be careful not to step on her dress.
You can bow to the lady, sitting by the window when you walk down the street, but you should not bow to a lady if you are sitting by the window and she is walking down the street.
In case of unexpected rain you should (if circumstances make it appropriate) offer your umbrella to a lady who does not have an umbrella. If she accepts the umbrella and asks for your address so she can return it, leave the umbrella for her. If she insists that she doesn't want to deprive you of your umbrella altogether, you can offer to accompany her home, but in this case, you shouldn't start a conversation along the way. When you leave her later, allow her to thank you, assure her that it was an honor to be at her service, then say goodbye and leave.
When meeting on the street Etiquette does not oblige a gentleman to take off his gloves to shake hands with a lady unless she is wearing gloves.
If you greet someone , taking off his hat, There is no need to bow at the same time, except in cases where you want to look especially respectful and reverent, as happens when meeting a bishop.
If someone of low birth greets you by raising his hat, you should do the same in return.
Don't stop and join the crowd gathered around a street performance or a musician, unless you want to pass for a villager who has gone to the city for a holiday.
Dress for the ball. 1800Journal des dames et des modes, Costume parisien / Rijksmuseum
Dresses for the ball. 1832Journal des dames et des modes, Costume parisien / Rijksmuseum
Gentleman at the ball
Of all the entertainment available to young people, there is nothing more joyful than dancing.
If you have been sent an invitation to a ball, answer it without delay.
If you came to the ball alone, You should not devote yourself entirely to one lady. Your attention should be divided equally among several; Also remember that under no circumstances should you dance twice with the same partner.
Inviting a lady to dance use the phrase: "Will you honor me with your square dance hand?" or “May I have the honor of dancing this dance with you?” Such phrases are more appropriate today than “May I have the pleasure...” or “Will you give me the pleasure of dancing with you?”
When you dance with a lady whom you see for the first time, you should not talk to her.
If a lady refuses you to dance with her, You should not ask the person sitting next to you to do the same. You should also not immediately go to another lady, but spend some time talking with the one to whom you initially approached with an offer. Then you should join the gentlemen for a while, and only after that you can look for another dance partner.
Never dance without gloves. This is an unshakable rule.
If you are accompanying your wife to the ball, Do not dance with her under any circumstances.
If a ball is given in your house or in the house of your nearest relative, your concern becomes to provide partners for all the ladies - young and old, beautiful and ugly. However, you will most likely have to partner with the oldest and ugliest.
You should not be among those who leave the ball last. It is much better to leave earlier, because by staying at the ball too long, you give others a reason to decide that invitations to balls do not come to you often and now you want to get as much as possible from a rare opportunity.
Never beat out the rhythm of the music foot or cane. There is nothing more disgusting.
You should say "piano" and not “piano forte”.
Gentleman talking
Men who can only talk about funny little things will rarely be popular with women over 25 years old.
You don't have to share everything you know. What a gentleman says must be what he believes.
Avoid jargon. It does not decorate, but stains the conversation.
Extreme rudeness should be considered a phrase uttered in a large company that is understandable to only one person. Shout, “George, I met D.L. yesterday and he said he would take control of this!” - as rude as walking up to George and whispering something in his ear.
If you're in the company of only gentlemen, never ask anyone to sing or tell a story.
It is not often that a person can afford to tell stories in public; they tend to be tedious and, for many present, can be a “twice-told tale.” A short, brilliant anecdote that can be applied to the conversation is all that a well-mannered person can afford.
At a party you should never talk to a man about his profession. So, there is no point in starting a conversation about politics with a journalist; about fever - with a doctor; about securities - with a broker; and also (unless, of course, you want to cause his extreme amazement) about education - with a student.
Never ask about the price of an item. This terrible mistake is most often made by the nouveau riche.
Gentleman writes letters
There is no other discipline as important There is no other way of communicating with men so important, no other quality that makes a gentleman a gentleman, as the ability to write a good letter.
Express your thoughts in your own words never borrowing from others. If you are caught plagiarizing, you will never be able to restore your reputation as an original person.
By sending a request letter, Always include a stamp for your answer. If you have bothered your respondent with the need to find some information for you, you do not have the right to force him to pay for postage.
In a letter asking for an autograph A reply stamp must always be included. Such a letter also requires complimentary words that explain the value of this name to you. You can point to the celebrity's deeds and actions that made his name so desirable.
Invitations should be sent by your servant or clerk. There is nothing more vulgar than sending an invitation by messenger, and it also increases the risk that the invitation may be late.
If this is your first time inviting a lady to join you on a horse ride, walk or visit to public places, you should also invite her mother, sister or other lady from the same family, however, if you have a mother or sister with whom this lady is well acquainted, then in the invitation you You should indicate that your mother or sister will accompany her on the trip.
Business card written in beautiful handwriting- the most elegant option for a gentleman, followed by an embossed card. The printed map is rarely used and has no elegance whatsoever.
Suits for walking and hunting. 1834Journal des dames et des modes, Costume parisien / Rijksmuseum
Court dress. 1805Journal des dames et des modes, Costume parisien / Rijksmuseum
Gentleman and his servants
Servants is a necessary evil.
You can't ask at the table about any assistance from a gentleman or lady; You should always contact the servants.
Never and under no circumstances, Whether it's a dinner party or just lunch with family, don't talk to the servants. Also, you should not make any remarks about one of them addressed to guests, because there is no better way to show your bad manners. You should give short orders to the servants in a calm and serious tone and wait patiently for them to be carried out.
Some ladies have a habit discuss with friends the difficulties of hiring a good servant. This is an indicator of extreme bad manners. Such topics should never be the subject of conversation.
Gentleman and Society
If politeness is a mask, as many philosophers say, this mask will bring you love and respect, which is why it is better to wear it than to keep it aside.
There is a difference between politeness and etiquette. True politeness is an innate quality, which can be found even in savages, but etiquette is the outward expression of politeness, reduced to the rules that apply in good society.
If you are poor but society accepts you because of your family's merits or your talents, avoid the trap that young people often fall into when they begin to live beyond their means.
If you've lost your fortune or position in society, it is wiser to retreat from it on your own than to wait until it forces you to leave.
Exhibition “Handsome Man. Russian fashionista of the mid-18th - early 20th centuries" can be visited at the State Historical Museum until July 28, 2017.
Sources
- Hartley C. B. The Gentlemen's Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness.
- A Gentleman. The Laws of Etiquette, or Short Rules and Reflections for Conduct in Society.
Impeccable appearance, refined manners, respect from others and attention from women. When a man grows up, he understands that being a gentleman is very good. How to be a gentleman?
A true gentleman treats everyone around him with respect, from the women he would like to date to the old ladies he needs to help carry their bags. He carefully monitors his appearance, is polite to everyone who deserves it, and courteous to all women, even if he does not expect to have romantic relationships with them. To be a true gentleman, you need to be a mature, cultured person who knows himself well.
1. The importance of appearance
1.1 Maintain personal hygiene. Shower regularly, use deodorant and eau de toilette, but only a little perfume is enough: girls may not like the smell, and if there is too much of it, you will not be able to impress them. In addition, you should not overuse hair gel: it makes your hair stick together and your hairstyle seems unnatural. Take care of your body and get yourself in order every time you plan to leave the house. If you don't smell clean and fresh, wearing nice clothes won't mean anything. It is very important to take care of your hygiene first so that the condition of your body does not distract people from your personality. Wash your hands after using the toilet. All gentlemen do this.
1.2 Wear clothes that suit you. Choose clothes that fit well and avoid clothes that are too bright or provocative. Don't wear vulgar things (like a baseball cap that's tilted to one side). The simpler your clothes are, the more often people will strive to examine your soul. Choose simple solid colors: black, black, brown. Avoid wearing graphic tank tops, neon shorts, or oversized wristwatches. Keep it simple - it will make your look elegant.
It is very important to choose trousers that will fit your figure. Baggy pants will make you look untidy, while pants that are too short or tight will indicate that you haven’t updated your wardrobe in a long time. Accessorize your trousers with a neat belt and everyone will see that you take your appearance seriously.
Most men wear suits that are two sizes too big for them. It is best to have a suit tailored to your measurements rather than trying to find a ready-made one. For a true gentleman, it is extremely important to wear clothes that fit perfectly. Plus, a tailored suit will make you look slimmer.
It is necessary to select clothes that will suit the circumstances. Stick to the dress code, whether for work or a wedding where you are invited as a guest. Remember that it is better to go a little overboard with your appearance than not to pay enough attention to it.
1.3 Look after yourself. Brush your hair regularly and think about what you prefer: shaving every morning or having a neat, thick beard. Get rid of stubble every day, otherwise you will look unkempt. Always keep a comb with you so you can comb your hair when no one is looking, in case your hair gets blown out by the wind, or if it loses volume at the end of the day. Even your nails are very important. Clean and trim them as needed to keep them looking neat. Trim nose hair.
1.4 Have a strong handshake. A true gentleman knows how to shake hands. When you meet your new boss, your girlfriend's father, or your sister's boyfriend, look the person in the eye, shake their hand firmly, and show that you are serious. Don't grab your hand too tightly - just shake it in a way that lets the person know you want to make a good impression. This will indicate that you are happy to meet new people. If someone you don't know comes into the room and you are introduced, first stand and then shake hands.
1.5 Behave culturally in society. Don't pass gas, control your belching, act provocatively, grab your groin area, or get drunk. A gentleman is always in control of his body and mind. If you do something wrong, don't pretend nothing happened - it's better to apologize. Being a gentleman means treating everyone the same. Treat others as you would the women you want to impress. Remember that a real gentleman does not make a scene and does not embarrass himself in public. A woman who is interested in a relationship with you should be proud of you and want to introduce you to her parents, friends or acquaintances. A gentleman must understand what others think of him and whether he behaves correctly.
2. Politeness
2.1 Help others. Always remember how you can help people. Hold the door for the person following you; in a store, ask an elderly or pregnant woman to carry her bags to the car. Of course, you should always assess the situation wisely (for example, you should not risk your health and hold the door if you are carrying something very heavy); just remember to respect people. A true gentleman is not only polite to the woman he wants to please, he is polite to everyone.
Pay attention to people who need help but are unlikely to ask for it. For example, it is worth opening the door for a person who is carrying a tray of cups, although he most likely will not ask for it.
2.2 Make polite conversations. Be prepared to ask questions or offer something polite, such as, “How was your day?”, “Can I help?”, “Let me get it for you,” or “I can do that.” Learn to speak slowly so that you can communicate with people in a way that makes them feel good, even if you are in a hurry. No matter who you interact with, try to smile, act friendly, and give interesting answers when asked how you are doing. A gentleman doesn't jump straight to what he needs and tries to get to know people better. The ability to carry on a conversation is an indicator of maturity and good manners, and without these things it is impossible to be a gentleman.
2.3 Never swear. Never. If it’s difficult for you to immediately give up swear words, try at least sharply reducing the number of them in your speech. It is impolite to swear, especially in the presence of women, older people, and in high society. If you used a swear word, apologize and try to prevent the situation from happening again in the future. If you find yourself in a situation where you frequently use swear words (for example, while watching a football game or in a traffic jam), watch your speech.
It is worth abandoning not only swear words, but also vulgar and inappropriate sayings. What seems funny to you when you get together with friends in a beer bar is unlikely to make the girl you want to like laugh.
2.4 Don't talk about yourself too much. You can tell people some information so that they have an idea who they are talking to, but you should not describe your life in detail. To get people interested in talking to you, you have to appear mysterious—women love that. Have general information about what's new in music, sports and politics so you can carry on a conversation.
Ask people questions about their interests, hobbies, and plans. Let them know that they are interested in you more than your own personality.
2.5 Avoid talking about controversial or uncomfortable issues. Try not to talk about politics until you know the person better, and learn to take a neutral position when the conversation turns to this topic. A gentleman does not embarrass other people. Try to agree with others and make everyone talking feel comfortable, rather than trying to prove to your interlocutors that your opinion is correct and everyone else has no right to exist. You will not impress a woman with defiant behavior - she will like your ability to find a common language with other people much more.
Always remember who you are talking to. What would be funny to an ordinary worker may not appeal to a girl from high society. Consider the needs and interests of others.
2.6 Treat all people with respect. A gentleman is polite not only to beautiful women - he is also respectful to other men, older people and even children. He is pleasant in communication with everyone who deserves it. Respect other people's personal space: don't get too close to them when talking and don't cuddle up to them when walking next to them. Don't look directly at her, don't ask too many personal questions. The most important thing is to make people feel good about your company so that they don't feel like you're treating them unfairly.
Say hello to people as you pass by, ask them how they are doing, and learn to understand when not to disturb someone.
Don't talk too loudly or attract everyone's attention, even if you are at home, out of respect for others. Don't act like you're the only person in the universe.
Chew with your mouth closed to show respect for the people you're dining with.
2.7 Avoid fights. Physical force is not the best way to resolve conflicts. A real gentleman does not give in and knows how to stand up for himself, but not with his fists. Remember your own values and don't let someone force theirs on you by picking a fight with you. If someone insults you and provokes violence, do not stoop to their level, but simply walk away.
Don't think that you can impress a woman by fighting or acting macho. A much more elegant solution would be to resolve the conflict without fighting.
3. Courtesy in dealing with women
3.1 Don't treat women like objects. Seeing a woman as just a piece of meat, even a beautiful one, is the worst thing you can do. Women are alive, too, and they have their own beliefs, hopes and goals, so you should not treat them as if they exist only to woo you and serve as eye candy. When meeting a woman, ask her name and try to get to know her better. Do not look at her openly, as if you are mentally undressing her. If you look at a woman like that, she will immediately want to get up and leave.
Gentlemen understand that women must be treated with respect. When communicating with women, refrain from making vulgar remarks and try to flirt easily and naturally.
3.2 Respect others. Of course, subservience will be unnecessary, but you should remember that women will appreciate your behavior if you open the door of a car or building for them or pull out a chair. You shouldn't put every girl on a pedestal (we're all human), but she will appreciate small signs of attention: for example, giving up your seat on the bus, even if she's not holding anything heavy in her hands.
Every woman is different, and over time you will understand what kind of gestures your woman likes. Offering her your jacket if she's cold is the right thing to do, but you need to make sure she likes it.
3.3 If you are walking down the street with a woman, try to stand on the side of the road. This is an old tradition: you protect a woman from dirt and cars with yourself. You can do this, or you can refuse - just know that such a tradition exists. Look at how a woman reacts to it and you can tell what she thinks about it: that it's cute or that it's old-fashioned.
3.4 Do not discuss boring or indecent topics with women. Don't comment on other girls and tell them how great they are. If she's not into sports or video games, you can say something about it, but then move on to another topic. More often than not, girls are interested in literature and music, rather than sports and games, although there are many exceptions. You can discuss anything with your friends, but with girls, try to choose other topics.
A gentleman senses when the interlocutor begins to get bored and wants to change the topic, and knows how to talk about something that will be interesting to everyone.
3.5 Don't humiliate women. It's okay to tease the girl a little, but don't get too cruel. However, teasing does not mean using vulgar words. No matter how joking your tone is, a girl will be offended if a so-called gentleman calls her a dirty word. Also, you should not talk to a girl as if she does not understand anything, and only you understand, because you are a man. Don't think you can teach her anything.
One of the signs of a man who is only pretending to be a gentleman is that he behaves well only until the moment when he begins to understand that the girl does not see him as a person for a close relationship. To become a true gentleman, you must understand that not all women in the world will be crazy about you and that this should not change your attitude towards them.
3.6 Be courteous to a woman when saying goodbye. Remember that women are more vulnerable: they become potential victims after dark and in disadvantaged areas. Walk her home or at least to her car. No matter how strong a woman is, if a criminal chooses a victim, he will first of all look for a woman, because it is unsafe to get involved with men. If a girl has to park far from home and then walk, offer to drive her home. She will appreciate how much you care about her safety.
Don't go too far: a girl shouldn't feel like she can't take a step without a man. However, if she leaves you in the evening, you should call her a taxi or at least offer to walk her home.
It's obvious that if a girl comes to your house, you need to walk her to the door or to the car, and not just shout "bye" to her from the comfort of your couch.
3.7 Consider whether you want to follow some outdated traditions. Knowing which ones make sense is quite difficult. Some of them may even offend independent and strong women who think that allowing a man to help them is demeaning and old-fashioned. Here is a small list of traditions that were once considered beautiful, but are now starting to lose their appeal:
Pay for two in a restaurant.
Helping a woman put on her coat.
Get up when a woman appears in the room.
Offer a woman your place.4. Be a gentleman with your girlfriend
4.1 Be selfless. Don't forget to do nice things for her when you're together. If she is carrying something, pick it up and carry it yourself when she puts it down. Always offer to pick her up or bring something. Remember: selfishness is not attractive. If you watch TV together and you know she likes a certain show, have her change the channel. She will appreciate this gesture more than you think.
At the same time, you should not behave in such a way that the girl feels helpless or decides that you are obliged to do everything for her. If she doesn't like you taking the things she's carrying out of her hands or helping her, let her do everything herself and help only when she really needs it.
4.2 Give her gifts for no reason. It will be nice if you show up on her doorstep with flowers just like that. There is no need to give expensive gifts - attention is important. A small rose, a note on the pillow, a book that she has long wanted to read as a gift, or even a sincere kiss will make a girl happy. These small signs of attention will let her know that you think about her even when you are not together, and that you tried to please her.
Flowers and chocolates are very nice, but giving special gifts is even better. For example, tickets to a play she wanted to see, a souvenir with her name on it from a country you traveled to without her, or a postcard that reminded you of her will tell her that you are thinking about her all the time and not just wanting to surround her. she was surrounded with romance, as they would surround any other girl.
4.3 Take care of her. If you're really into your girlfriend, show her that. If you go somewhere together, hold her hand or hug her with one arm. Stroke her cheek whenever you want. When you are alone, kiss her on the neck, gently stroke her back or thighs (provided she wants it). A real gentleman does not rush a girl - he waits until she is ready for something more than just kisses.
Gentlemen are proud of their girls and like to show them off where other people are. Hold a girl's hand even in the company of friends, but do not try to pester her in a public place.
4.4 Be prepared to stand up for your girlfriend. You shouldn't try to beat up anyone who just looks at her, but if someone openly stares at her or tries to flirt with her, intervene. Place your hand on her shoulder and lead her away, or approach her and talk to another man. Physical contact will calm her down and let the aggressor know that he will have to deal with both of you. Don't let other men flirt with your girlfriend or make inappropriate remarks about her.
Do not physically threaten this man or call him names. Better find a more appropriate way to explain to him that he is wrong.
4.5 Don't say anything bad about a girl to your friends. Real gentlemen don't discuss their girlfriends' shortcomings. You might think that acting like she doesn't mean anything to you or complaining about a girl will make you look cool, but that's not true. By doing this, you are being disrespectful, and if the girl finds out about it, you will look pathetic in her eyes. If you want to talk about your girlfriend, praise her or ask your friends for advice about the situation.
A true gentleman respects all people. There's nothing worse than sharing details of your life just so everyone can laugh.4.6 Don't tell your friends too much about your girlfriend. Don't share your successes in sex. It’s not appropriate for a man to brag about the fact that he finally got sex from the girl he’s dating, or to tell what she’s like in bed or how she kisses. This should remain between the two of you, and what happened (or didn't happen) in bed is not a subject for discussion.
It doesn't matter if you're dating a girl or just went on a couple of dates with her - you should keep all your thoughts to yourself. If she finds out that you told anyone, she will be furious and you will get a bad name.4.7 Don't force her to do things she doesn't like. A true gentleman understands what a woman is agreeing to and respects her decision. If the girl you're dating isn't ready for intimacy or doesn't want one before marriage, you should be okay with the decision rather than trying to pressure her. Sex may not mean anything to you, but women have their own ideas about what they want to do with their bodies. Don't force her to do something she doesn't want or make her feel guilty about you if she refuses something.
A true gentleman allows a woman to decide how the relationship will develop and does not make her feel guilty or bad for not doing what was asked of her. He listens to a woman and waits for one who will be worthy of him.
Adviсe
Maintaining hygiene is important, but a man should not become obsessed with his appearance. He shouldn't be a dude.
Don't be selfish with other people. Pay attention to them from time to time.
Treat people with respect and the way you would like to be treated.
Smile and look your interlocutor in the eyes. This will create an emotional connection between you.
Don't honk when you pick up a girl in your car. Ring the doorbell.
To love means to give. Don't forget this when you spend time with your girlfriend. Try to give her as much love, time and attention as possible, but don't overdo it, because otherwise you will start to hate her. Spending time with friends is also beneficial.
When talking to a person, completely immerse yourself in the conversation. If a person wants to say something, listen to him until the end.
Always be aware of where you are and how others perceive you.
If you are insulted, try not to respond in kind. Most likely, you will only anger the offender even more, and this will provoke a fight. Apologize, but don't act like you're scared.
You can wear jeans, T-shirts, and sneakers, but to look good, everything needs to be clean, ironed, and fit. Make sure that the inscriptions on clothes are not provocative. In the end, all that matters is the person wearing the clothes. Try wearing a belt - it can make a big difference in your overall look.
You don't have to dress expensive to be a gentleman. This will highlight your appearance, but a man in casual clothes can also be attractive.
The word “gentleman” is derived from the French gentil (“noble”) and the English man (“man”). A gentleman is a man of noble birth. The 19th century British statesman Robert Peel said that it takes three generations to create a gentleman.
In the Middle Ages, gentlemen were members of the English untitled nobility - the gentry. This social stratum occupied an intermediate position between peers and yeomen, that is, these were quite good well-born families, but still not titled enough.
In the Victorian era, the concept of “gentleman” was somewhat transformed and at the same time finally formed. This is how they began to call a person who has the opportunity not to work, lives on income from his property or inheritance, and is at the same time superbly educated, well-mannered and noble.
A gentleman of real intelligence and culture is usually modest. He may feel, when in the company of ordinary people, that he is intellectually superior to those around him, but he will not strive to show his superiority over them. He will not seek to touch upon topics in which the interlocutors do not have relevant knowledge. Everything he says is always marked by politeness and respect for the feelings and opinions of others.
This male image entered popular culture as the image of an elegant man who strictly follows the rules of etiquette. One has only to say “gentleman”, and the brain already pictures a man with exquisite looks.
But in the 21st century, a gentleman is defined not only (and not so much) by his appearance. In modern public consciousness, this proud title is attributed to men who are gallant and extremely respectful towards women. Emancipation is emancipation, and deep down, every girl wants to be treated like a lady.
So include a sense of humor and read about how to become a gentleman. Be sure to pass everything written through the prism of self-irony, but do not forget that in every joke there is only a fraction of a joke.
How to become a gentleman
1. Be faithful
A true gentleman remains faithful to his beloved. He simply doesn't notice other women around him.
2. Admit when you're wrong.
And when you are right... Sometimes it is better to remain silent, even when the truth is on your side.
3. Say nice things
Say nice things to a woman if you really mean it. But you shouldn’t flatter just because the girl wants to hear something nice.
4. Don't show character when she cries.
Just be silent and hold her hand. Make her feel that she is safe.5. Trust her
Forget about the past. Trust your lover, even if you have experienced betrayal in the past.6. Never compare
The worst thing you can do is compare her to another girl. The only thing worse than comparing her to your ex.7. Don't promise the impossible
Don't give your word unless you are 200% sure that you will keep it. Yes, not 100%, but 200%.8. Text her more often
Banal messages like “Good morning, dear!” or “Good night, honey!” mean a lot more to her than you think. Write to her every day, and not just in a fit of emotion.9. Spend time with her
Spending time with your girlfriend is great, but don't count out your friends.10. Be a knight
You can leave your horse at home, but don’t forget to hold her hand when she gets out of the car, open the door, give her a coat, and so on.11. Don't lie
A real gentleman never lies to his girlfriend. Okay, sometimes he lies. But only in such trifles as “Honey, this is only the second drink” (actually the fifth).12. Be gallant
Show courtesy and respect for her and what she holds dear.13. Be a good listener
Resign yourself, you have to listen to her. All the time. You will talk to your friends, and if you have a girlfriend, listen.14. Do romantic things
A simple note “I love you!” or an unexpected call in the middle of the day - already romantic. Don't neglect such little things.15. Never ask her about her ex.
This is bad form.16. Don't be rude
A gentleman will never indulge in offensive behavior.17. Never blame her for your mistakes.
And even in her mistakes.18. Laugh at her jokes
Just think, not funny!19. Pillow fight her.
Just don’t go into a rage, calculate your strength.20. Don't talk about her behind her back.
This is a bad idea, friends.21. The dress is good
It's just a great dress if she's wearing it and she's next to you.22. Reply to her messages
Otherwise, you risk saying goodbye to your phone.23. Never ask her to buy you anything.
It's simply undignified.24. Don’t you dare forget about her birthday
Do I need to say what this entails? Exactly!25. Pay at the restaurant
Even if three of her friends were having lunch with you.26. Maintain good hygiene
Trim your nails, wash your hair, be neat. Maintaining body hygiene is simply necessary.27. Don't force her
Even if you really want to watch football and drink beer with your girlfriend, don’t insist if you hear a refusal. Want to go shopping? Let him go shopping!28. Give her your jacket if she's cold.
It is clear that you are also cold, but what can you do?29. Don't offer weird ways to fall asleep
Do not advise her to take a couple of sips of whiskey, better read something to her.30. Give her flowers
Every day, of course, is too much. But from time to time - why not?31. Notice the little things
“You have a new hairstyle!” - Believe me, this is by no means a small thing for her.32. Wear her things
This is part of the knight's duties.33. Give compliments
As much as possible. And even a little more.34. Give her happiness
Do everything in your power to make her happy. (Tip: Sometimes shopping can help.)35. No slaps!
Even as a joke.36. Keep quiet if she slaps you
You probably deserve it.37. If you love her, don't talk about it.
Show your love through your actions. Every day. Whenever and wherever you are.38. Don't judge her
Never ever.39. Expect less
And get more. This law always works.40. Be spontaneous
Women hate boring guys.41. Be responsive
Strive to help at any cost.42. Smile more often
And you will see her smile in response. Cry only if no one is watching.43. Appreciate her
She's the best thing that ever happened to you. And this is just one of the reasons to appreciate it.44. Hug her from behind
A hug from the front shows desire, a hug from the back means you trust her. Women like both.45. Kiss her hands
And palms, and elbows, and shoulders. Kiss her all over every chance you get. But know when to stop.46. Being literate is sexy
Don't underestimate the seductive power of good written and spoken language. Arrr-rr-r!47. Enjoy sunsets with her
It's romantic. From her point of view.48. Don't let her walk home alone
You never know how this might turn out.49. Accept her for who she is
Don't let your ideas about the ideal ruin everything.50. Call her beautiful, not hot or sexy.
But, having called her beautiful several times, you can at least call her a bomb.51. Always forgive her
A gentleman does not hold grudges and always forgives.52. Let her climb on your back
Girls love to ride on their backs.53. Breasts and butt don't matter
Okay, they have. But don't show it.54. Don't swear
At all!55. Walk not only with your friends, but also with her friends
Don't miss the opportunity to have a good time.56. She is more important than video games
True, believe me. Okay, except for those moments when you lost and didn’t save.57. Never insult her, even as a joke.
This is not gentlemanly.58. Never be late for a date
Work can wait. The girl is not.59. Have surprises
This is a mutual thing: if you do, you will receive.60. Help her feel like a princess
Every girl dreams of this.61. Let her rest her head on your shoulder.
The rest will go by itself.62. Never make excuses
Men have problems with this. Admit it.63. Don't talk to her when you're angry.
You're bound to ruin something.64. Actions speak louder than words
And women always notice them.65. Girls love guys with a cute grin
Honestly.66. She should have an orgasm first
Always. Humble yourself. Dot.67. Don't brag
But if she boasts, then listen very carefully.68. Say “I love you”
Every day. And it’s better more than once.69. Kiss her on the forehead
Even if he's sweating.70. Compete to see who loves whom more
And make sure she wins.71. Kiss her spontaneously, mid-sentence
Especially if you see that she is about to get angry.72. Kiss her when she sleeps
This is cool.73. Tickle each other
And let her win this fight.Good afternoon to you, if you haven't bothered me yet :)
Today I would like to talk about the so-called Code of a Gentleman - an Elegant Aristocrat. Of course, I have no doubt that many, if not all, of the gentlemen present here know these simple rules. :)
Strict adherence to the rules of etiquette and social norms made the Englishman of the 19th century an example to follow, a model of good manners and decency in the eyes of all subsequent generations.
And so, I present to you... in the end we got 24 basic rules from the “gentleman’s pocket code” according to TrendyMen magazine (Trendymen.ru). Some of them have still not lost their relevance, and some, alas, are a thing of the past.
1. Modesty in a suit is always preferable, as it endears others to the wearer.
A modest person is rarely the object of envy.
3. Being a good listener is a great talent, which is not easy to develop. A well-educated person should possess it, no matter how hard it may be for him.
4. Every well-mannered person knows how to remove his hat gracefully.
5. Well-mannered people rarely wear the latest fashion. This is the privilege of dandies and posers. However, dressing well is a great virtue.
Lord Chesterfield said: “Excessive clothing implies an erroneous perception of the world.”6. Prudence and honorable behavior, like silver money, are always valuable.
7. Every parent should teach their child the art of using cutlery. There is nothing more frustrating than finding yourself in front of a dish that you don't know how to eat correctly.
8. Lord Chesterfield said: “Dancing is a trifling and stupid activity, but it is a form of social madness into which even sensible people must plunge from time to time.”
If you accompany your wife to a dance party, never dance with her except for the very first dance*.
9. The women's restroom is a place where no gentleman should ever go.
10. Gentlemen should not gather in groups and leave ladies unattended.
11. When walking up stairs with ladies, walk to their side or in front, but not behind them.
12. When passing lonely ladies on the street, do not speed up or slow down. Do not look too closely at the dress of such ladies.
13. When receiving guests, do everything possible to make them feel at home. Simply inviting them to feel at home is not enough.
14. Talking to an idle person once is enough to hear everything he knows in this life.
15. It is not enough to simply nod to a lady you meet on the street, or simply touch your hat. The headdress must be removed; this is a sign of basic respect for her gender.
16. A man who accompanies a lady while smoking a cigar questions her reputation.
17. A gentleman should not stand in hotel doorways or on street corners watching ladies pass by.
18. When a man marries, all his past relationships should end, unless he hints at a desire to renew them.
19. Don't be selfish, but give in on small things.
20. If you have been introduced to a person of higher social status, when you meet him again, you should not show that you recognize him until he himself shows signs of recognition.
21. Never talk about the musical talents of one lady to another.
22. To ridicule a person in his presence or absence is humiliating for a gentleman. Witty ridicule may make others laugh, but will not earn their respect.
23. Never read in public.
24. When alone, watch your thoughts; with your family, watch your character; among friends, watch your language.
* According to paragraph 8, a small addition: with the lady with whom the gentleman came to the dance evening, it was appropriate to dance no more than three dances. At least this rule is now followed at historical balls
