Complete collection and description: prayer for the forgiveness of a son for the spiritual life of a believer.
Prayer for forgiveness plays a big role in Orthodoxy. It represents such secret words, filled with deep spiritual meaning, which allow you to turn to the Higher Powers with a request for forgiveness of your own sins. Prayers for forgiveness should definitely be read in the temple. To atone for all your sins, you should attend church as often as possible. In addition, in addition to such prayer, you should constantly give alms to those who need more than you.
Prayer for forgiveness of one's sins before God
The most powerful prayers for forgiveness are offered to the Lord God. They need to be read every day. Every word in prayer appeals should sound consciously and sincerely.
Daily prayer of repentance and forgiveness
For a daily prayer of repentance and forgiveness, you can use the following prayer:
Prayer to Jesus Christ for forgiveness of grievances
Resentment towards other people greatly pollutes the soul, so you need to get rid of them using a special prayer.
It sounds like this:
Prayer of John Krestyankin for forgiveness of ancestral sins (of a kind)
The main purpose of praying to the Lord for the forgiveness of one’s sins is to save the human soul. Its strength lies in the fact that with its help one-on-one communication with God occurs. This means that you need to ascend it in complete solitude and absolutely sincerely.
The basic rules for such prayer are as follows:
- Before offering prayer, you need to realize everything that you have done wrong in life. It is important to awaken in your soul a desire for sincere repentance for your misdeeds. You need to voice in your own words what you did, violating the commandments of God and ask for forgiveness for this.
- Before reading the prayer for forgiveness, it is recommended to visit the temple and confess.
Prayer for forgiveness of sins for aborted children
Abortion is considered a terrible sin and a woman needs to pray for it for a long time. A prayer for forgiveness for the murder of an unborn baby is read for 40 days. It is important not to miss a single day. Before starting to pray, it is recommended to visit the temple, confess and repent before the priest. Prayer words should be said in front of the icon of the Mother of God and Savior. Sincere prayer will definitely be heard and God will remove your sin.
The prayer text reads as follows:
A very strong prayer to the Creator for forgiveness and help
There are several powerful, focused prayers to the Lord. They need to be used in specific cases. It is very important to offer such prayers in front of the icon of the Savior.
Prayer for forgiveness of those who have offended us
In order to cleanse the soul of negativity, you need to offer a prayer for forgiveness of people who have caused offense. This will allow you to let go of the situation and successfully move towards your goal. The peculiarities of reading such a prayer are that it should be close in essence to meditation. It is necessary to retire to a separate room, install an icon of the Savior, light a church candle in front of it and take a comfortable position.
The text of the prayer reads as follows:
Prayer for forgiveness of a child
Parents very often offer prayers for the forgiveness of their children. This allows you to cleanse the aura of your children.
This mother’s prayer is considered the most powerful:
Prayer for forgiveness of enemies
If you know your enemies, then you must definitely read a prayer for their forgiveness. This will protect your soul from the influence of negative energy. In addition, such a prayer will push your enemies onto the right path and there is a very high probability that your hostility will soon cease.
One powerful prayer goes like this:
This prayer must be offered to the Lord in solitude before the icon of the Savior. Also, be sure to visit a temple after it, where you can light a candle for the health of your enemy.
Orthodox icons and prayers
Information site about icons, prayers, Orthodox traditions.
Prayer for forgiveness of sins is very powerful
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All peoples who live on Earth have secret words that are necessarily passed on from the older generation to the younger, and thanks to which a person turns to higher powers, to the Lord God. Such words are called prayer. The main appeal is a prayer to the Lord for forgiveness - atonement for sin before another person, cultivating the power of forgiveness.
To atone for your sins, it is important to visit the temple of the Lord. Attend Divine Services. But, the most important thing is to really want to receive the condescension of grace from the Almighty in the form of forgiveness of sins. The Lord God forgives everyone and absolves them of their sins, but only to those who show him their unshakable desire to receive forgiveness, all-consuming faith and the absence of evil thoughts.
Prayer for forgiveness of sins
During his stay on planet Earth, a person commits a large number of sins every day based on various circumstances and reasons, the main ones being weakness, the inability to subordinate his willpower in order to resist the many temptations that surround us.
Everyone knows the teaching of Jesus Christ: “From the heart come evil plans and defile a person.” It is in this way that sinful thoughts are born in a person’s subconscious, which flow into sinful actions. We should not forget that every sin originates only from “evil thoughts.”
Prayer for forgiveness of sins is a very powerful prayer
One of the common ways to atone for sins is to give alms and donations to those who need it more than you. It is through this act that a person can express his compassion for the poor and mercy for his neighbor.
Another way that will help free the soul from sin is a prayer for the remission of sins, which comes from the heart itself, about sincere repentance, about forgiveness of committed sins: “And the prayer of faith will heal the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven and atonement for him” (James 5:15).
In the Orthodox world there is a miraculous icon of the Mother of God “Softening Evil Hearts” (otherwise known as “Seven Arrows”). Since ancient times, in front of this icon, Christian believers have asked for forgiveness of sinful acts and reconciliation of warring parties.
Among Orthodox believers, 3 prayers for forgiveness of sins are common:
Prayer of repentance and forgiveness
“In the hand of Your great mercy, O my God, I entrust my soul and body, my feelings and words, my deeds and all my movements of body and soul. My entry and exit, my faith and life, the course and end of my life, the day and hour of my breathing, my repose, the repose of my soul and body. But You, O Most Merciful God, invincible to the sins of the whole world, Goodness, Gentle Lord, accept me, more than all sinners, in the hand of Your protection and deliver me from all evil, cleanse my many iniquities, grant correction to my evil and cursed life and from those to come. Always delight me in the fall of cruel sins, and in no way, when I anger Your love for mankind, cover my weakness from demons, passions and evil people. Forbid the enemy, visible and invisible, guiding me along the saved path, bring me to You, my refuge and my desire. Grant me a Christian death, unashamed, peaceful, keep me from the airy spirits of malice, at Your Last Judgment be merciful to Your servant and number me at the right hand of Your blessed sheep, and with them I will glorify You, my Creator forever. Amen".
Prayer for forgiveness of grievances
“Lord, You see my weakness, grant me correction and make me worthy to love you with all my soul and thoughts, and grant me Your grace, grant me the zeal to perform services, offer my unworthy prayer and thank You for everything.”
Forgiveness from God
“Lord my God, You know what is saving for me, help me; and do not allow me to sin before You and perish in my sins, for I am sinful and weak; do not betray me to my enemies, for I have come running to You, deliver me, O Lord, for You are my strength and my hope, and to You be glory and thanksgiving forever. Amen".
The power of turning to the Almighty
A person’s ability to forgive and ask for forgiveness is the ability of a strong and merciful person, because the Lord God performed a majestic act of forgiveness, He not only forgave all people who sinned, but was also crucified for human sins on the cross.
Prayer for the forgiveness of sins to the Lord can help a person achieve the long-awaited liberation from sin. Its strength lies in the fact that the person asking the Almighty already sincerely repents and wants to atone for his guilt. While praying for the forgiveness of his sins, he realized:
- that he committed a sin
- was able to admit his guilt,
- I realized that I did wrong
- and decided not to repeat it again.
The asking person's faith in His mercy can lead to forgiveness.
Based on this, a spiritual prayer for sinful forgiveness is the sinner’s repentance for his deed, since one who cannot understand the gravity of what he has done will not turn to the Almighty with prayer.
By paying attention to his mistakes and then turning to the Son of God, the sinner is obliged to show his sincere repentance through good deeds. In this case, “he who serves God will certainly be accepted, and his prayer will reach the very clouds” (Sir.35:16).
God's forgiveness for sins
Over the course of human existence, prayer has become necessary to receive divine grace, after which a person’s character completely changes: he becomes rich in soul, mentally strong, persistent, courageous, and sinful thoughts leave his head forever.
When changes occur in a person’s inner world, he can: become better for those around him,
- can make the people around him kinder,
- show what it means to do reasonable things,
- tell about the hidden nature of the origin of evil and good,
- prevent another from committing a sinful act.
The Mother of God, Theotokos, also helps in the atonement of sins - he hears all the prayers addressed to her and conveys them to the Lord, thereby begging forgiveness together with the one asking.
You can turn to the saints of God and the great martyrs with a prayer for forgiveness. Forgiveness of sins must not only be asked for, it must be prayed for for a long time: the more serious the sin, the more time it will take. But rest assured, your time will not be wasted. After all, the descent of God’s grace onto a person is the greatest gift from God.
How to get forgiveness:
- Regularly visit an Orthodox church;
- Take part in Divine Services;
- Address prayer to the Lord at home;
- Live with righteous views and pure thoughts;
- Do not commit sinful acts in the future.
Prayer for the forgiveness of sins, a kind of assistant, an irreplaceable ally of every person. A forgiving, generous person is truly happy. After all, when there is peace in the soul, then the reality around us is transformed for the better.
May the Lord protect you!
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6 thoughts on “The prayer for forgiveness of sins is very powerful”
Thank you very much, very good article.
Thank you, this is the second evening I’ve been reading your article, it’s very useful.
How to beg God for forgiveness for sins, a rare Orthodox prayer.
To ask the Lord God for forgiveness of sins, read the rarest Orthodox prayer in secluded silence. You will notice the result immediately.
Throughout our lives we commit sinful acts.
Realizing this, I want to seek the grace of Divine help.
We beg for forgiveness by listing our sins during confession in the Orthodox Church.
We read the Prayer Book with rapturous zeal and randomly cross ourselves, looking around.
First of all, go to the Orthodox Church and submit a registered note about your own Health.
Place 3 candles each at the icon of Jesus Christ and St. Nicholas the Pleasant.
Buy a few candles for home prayer. Collect holy water by purchasing the icons listed above.
Gather your strength and endure a strict week-long fast. Then take communion and confess to Father.
All this time, read the prayer “Our Father” and limit yourself from earthly vanity.
When you return home from Church, retire to a locked room.
Light a candle. Place icons and a cup of holy water nearby.
Read the Lord's Prayer several times.
Without haste, but with Orthodox zeal, remember all the sins you have committed, sincerely repenting and mentally asking God for forgiveness.
Proceed to repeatedly whisper a special text that allows you to cleanse yourself of accumulated filth.
I beg you, O Heavenly Father, may there be a speedy end to my sins. Let go of the evil burden that sits in your heart, let him forgive the one who was offended by me for his abomination. I beg you, do not punish strictly, let the road to the Church be laid out under your feet. Help me in Orthodoxy to save my soul, that I am still sinning, I beg you, forgive me. Thy will be done. Amen."
Cross yourself diligently again and drink holy water.
After a while, when you again feel the burden of sin, pray to the Lord God, patiently waiting for grace-filled forgiveness.
I also bring to your attention 3 Orthodox prayers for the forgiveness of sins addressed to the Lord God.
Such prayers do not ask God for anything except generous forgiveness.
There are different sins, mortal and everyday, as well as those not mentioned due to oblivion.
It is the forgotten sins that drag our soul into the abyss of hellfire.
To ask the Lord God for forgiveness, read one of the three Orthodox prayers below with lighted candles and in graceful silence.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God. Forgive me for the sins mentioned and for the sins forgotten. Do not allow Orthodox torment to be punished and do not torment my soul with new trials. I firmly believe in you and pray for your speedy forgiveness. Let your will be done now and forever and forever and ever. Amen."
I beg you, Son of God, for the remission of forgotten sins. Captivated by the temptation of the devil, I did (did) unrighteous deeds. Forgive me all insults, slander, greed and greed, stinginess and rudeness. Let the scabs of sin not infect my mortal body. Let it be so. Amen."
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God. I confess to you for my sinful thoughts and unkind deeds. Forgive me for forgotten, accidental and intentional sins. Help me cope with the temptation of the devil and guide me on the path of holy Orthodoxy. Thy will be done. Amen.!
How to read the Orthodox prayer for forgiveness
You and I live in a world that is far from ideal, and therefore we ourselves are not ideal. Our words and actions sometimes upset our neighbors. We all know how easy it is to offend a person with a rude, mocking word, an inappropriate remark, inattention, and how difficult it is to beg forgiveness after that. Even if we inadvertently offended a person, this does not mean that we can leave everything as it is. An unforgiven offense will lie like a heavy stone on the heart, spoil relationships, and sooner or later it will turn into another quarrel.
Before you read the prayer for forgiveness yourself, you need to honestly say to yourself: “I am guilty.” The worst thing a person can do is start to justify themselves. God showed us the depth of the fall in self-justification through the example of the first people, Adam and Eve, when they violated His only commandment and were called to account. Then Adam said, “The woman whom You gave me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” Adam made a mistake even worse than breaking God's commandment: he shifted the blame for his sin onto everyone around him - onto Eve and even onto God Himself, who gave him a wife - instead of praying to God for forgiveness of sins, saying “Forgive me, God."
Before you pray for forgiveness of grievances, you must forgive yourself.
But what should we do if a person really has a far-fetched grievance against us, if we really are not to blame? In this case, the Orthodox Church still teaches us to read prayers for forgiveness of those who have offended us. We all know very well that the closer, dearer, more beloved a person is, the more difficult it is to reconcile with him. This happens precisely from excessive closeness - when the one who offended us or the one we offended is constantly nearby, we do not have the opportunity to pause, calm down, in order to objectively assess the situation.
In this case, we can and should pray to God to forgive us, so that the Lord will enlighten both us and the other side of the conflict. Forgiveness plays a huge role in Orthodoxy. On the last Sunday before Lent, a special rite of forgiveness was even established for everyone who did not have the fortitude to apologize or reconcile on their own during the year. It is very important from early childhood to teach children to apologize for their wrongdoings, setting an example for them. If you quarrel with a child, stand with him in front of the icon of the Lord and together read a prayer for forgiveness of each other. Thanks to this, the child’s heart will not harden and resentment will not linger in him for long.
Before which icons should you read a prayer for forgiveness?
In Orthodoxy, there is a miraculous icon of the Mother of God, the Softening of Evil Hearts, it is also called the Seven Shot. Traditionally, in front of this icon, believers pray for forgiveness, asking the Mother of God to reconcile the warring parties. You can buy the icon Softening Evil Hearts in an online store or in an icon shop. Begin Orthodox prayer, asking God for forgiveness for your sins and stubbornness.
If you yourself are offended, read a prayer for forgiveness of the offender. Even if at first glance it seems that the conflict is too advanced and there is no chance, remember: water wears away stones, and for God nothing is impossible.
Listen to the video of a powerful prayer for forgiveness
Read the text of the Orthodox prayer for the forgiveness of sins
I confess to You, Lord my God and Creator, in the One Holy Trinity, glorified and worshiped Father, and Son, and Holy Spirit, all my sins, which I have committed all the days of my life, and for every hour, both now and in the past. days and nights, by deed, by word, by thought, by gluttony, drunkenness, secret eating, idle talk, despondency, laziness, bickering, disobedience, slander, condemnation, neglect, pride, covetousness, theft, false speech, filthiness, bribery, jealousy, envy, anger, memory of malice, hatred, covetousness and all my feelings: sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch and my other sins, both mental and physical, in the image of my God and Creator I have angered You, and my neighbor for being untruthful: regretting these, I blame myself for You God I represent it to you, and I have the will to repent: then, Lord my God, help me, with tears I humbly pray to You: You have come to forgive me my sins with Your mercy, and forgive me from all these things that I have said before You, for You are Good and Lover of Mankind.
“Mom, how can this be, you promised...” my five-year-old son Vladik looked at me with bewilderment and resentment. And he was right, indeed, I promised to spend this Sunday the way he wanted. But I had more important things to do. How annoying it is to be guilty in front of your own child, but not to ask him for forgiveness?
It was supposed to be a great day for both of us, but it turned out to be really bad. Instead of a weekend spent with my son according to his scenario (zoo, cafe, then rollerblading in the park), God knows what happened. I needed to do an urgent editorial assignment. The task lasted for the whole day, by the evening I was so tired that I didn’t even have enough time to go to the park and roller skates.
Intellectually, I understood that this was a real grief for my son, because he had been waiting for this day off for a whole week. We planned together how we would go to the zoo to see an elephant and a giraffe, how we would then sit in a cafe and eat a festive lunch, and at the end, we would race through the park on roller skates.
It was painful for me to look at the child. He tried so hard all week to behave well, he was so happy in advance... My son already sees me a little in the morning and an hour before bed. And it turns out that mom promised and deceived: instead of the planned holiday, she sits at home, buried in the computer.
I tried to promise that everything would work out just fine next week, but there was no reaction. And it’s clear: for a five-year-old, “next week” is the same as “in a year.”
And I got angry: you might think that I myself really want to pore over the monitor on my day off! What should I do: explain - don’t explain, “mother’s work” will always be our main competitor to zoos, parks, circuses and so on. Yes, I'm upset myself! I didn't do it on purpose! But it was very offensive to admit that you were wrong in front of your child. After all, I didn’t let him down on purpose, I didn’t let him down on purpose, I myself want a zoo, a cafe, and ice cream!
Realizing that there would definitely not be a holiday, Vladik made his mouth like a frying pan and prepared to roar. Only this was not enough.
And I shouted:
- Stop being capricious! Mom is busy! Go to your place and play something.
Vlad obediently trudged to his room, dragging the stuffed hare behind him, and my heart ached.
The day passed sadly, Vlad spent almost all the time in his room. I looked at him quietly - he was sitting on the floor, all his toy animals laid out around him. He was probably playing at the zoo after all. Lunch also turned out to be completely uncelebratory. Vlad reluctantly picked at his plate with a fork, got off his chair and went to his room. And all I could do was sit at the monitor, bite my lips and “finish off” the task that ruined our day off with the child.
In the evening, putting Vlad to bed, I kissed him and still whispered:
- Son... I promise, in a week everything will be as we planned. Mom didn’t do it on purpose, mom had to work.
He looked at me very seriously, put his arm around my neck and said:
— When I grow up, I will earn a lot, a lot of money. You won't work. And we will go to the zoo whenever we want.
I was terribly ashamed. My child turned out to be more generous than me: I did not ask for forgiveness, but he forgave me.
He was already falling asleep, and then I finally said quietly:
- Forgive me, baby.
"Sorry" is the magic word
Should parents apologize to their children if they have done something wrong? Opinions on this matter vary: some are sure that the indisputability of parental authority saves mom and dad from the need to ask for forgiveness from the child. Some, on the contrary, are sure that an honest admission of guilt will only add respect to parents. Opinion of psychologist Gleb Slobin.
Gleb Slobin, psychologist
“If parents look at themselves honestly, they will see that they are often inappropriately harsh in their actions and statements, or, as in today’s story, they can allow themselves to deceive their children’s expectations, even “not on purpose.” Not to mention more serious cases. Having noticed this in yourself, you cannot simply silently “check the box” and promise yourself to improve. This is a necessary but not sufficient step.
If a parent wants a complete relationship with a child, real trust and love, and not formal “obedience,” then he should not rise in front of him as a copper-headed idol, always right and impeccable. It is very important to be able to recognize your limitations. And this in no way diminishes the parental authority, although some mothers and fathers are worried, they say, just apologize to the child, he will immediately get rid of him completely and will not regard his parents as anything.
But a child can perceive a sincere apology not as weakness, but as understanding on the part of an adult. The child will feel that the parent understands and empathizes with him, shares his grief, his powerlessness and despondency after an unfair or too harsh punishment. Or after disappointment, and the loss of a long-awaited day-holiday is, of course, a bitter disappointment for a five-year-old.
Admitting that you are wrong in front of your child does not mean that the parent should kneel down and apologize profusely. For example, very often parents sin not by the very fact of punishing their children for their real misdeeds, but in the form of these punishments. If you got carried away with your words, you can always say: forgive me for calling you such and such. You're not really like that. What you did is really wrong, and I am angry and sad. But I shouldn't have called you that. Or: I'm sorry I promised and didn't do it. I am very ashamed and I will definitely do what I promised.
If a parent feels that he has gone too far somewhere, then he should separate the pedagogical need for punishment for wrongdoing from how he fulfilled this need.
And if you have gone too far, apologize to the child and express your regret to him.
It happens that the issue is not unjust punishment, but that the child catches his parents in some unseemly act or deception against him. For a child, this is a very alarming situation, because he will immediately have a question: what else can mom (or dad) do if they are capable of deceiving, promising and not fulfilling?
In this case, the parent has no choice but to apologize to the child and honestly tell him: yes, I am guilty, I was wrong, please forgive me. And don’t think that the child is “small and doesn’t understand anything” - children understand much more and much better than we think. If you try, you can always find simple words that are understandable to them.
Children should not see their parents breaking the laws they are taught. There should be no room for double standards, like, you’re small - you’re not allowed, but I’m an adult - I’m allowed. Or worse: you’re small, which means I can deceive you and fool you, or take your thing without asking, or tell you something offensive. Or: you are small, so your hopes and expectations mean much less than my “adult” things. At the same time, many parents also for some reason believe that their children “have no right” to be offended by them - after all, they are parents!
If parents act in this way, then they definitely undermine all their efforts to raise the child morally and deal a huge blow to mutual trust and closeness in the family. After all, the baby strives to be like his dad and mom, and not like they tell him to be. Maybe in a year or five or even twenty years it will come up and the child will do the same.
To prevent this from happening, the parent must admit his guilt (and it is better, of course, not to act in such a way at all, so as not to have to blush in front of his own child), otherwise the relationship will be undermined by falseness. And the fruits of such parental deceit will be bitter for both fathers and children.
Similar verse on my website
http://cvet-dushi.ru/proshhenie.html "Forgiveness"
My son, dear blood,
I ask you for forgiveness..
For lack of attention,
And for the control that I hold over you..
For not forgiving for a long time!
That she couldn't explain something...
That she only promised happiness,
And I couldn’t pour out my soul!
Dear son, beloved,
In fact: I love you!
You are a divinely beautiful light,
And I really, really appreciate you!
Son, dear baby,
You know, I'm proud of you!
And let each cell in you,
Hears the light! I'll enjoy it..
And you are a man of deeds, words,
Your soul is tender, kind...
Son, I'm always ready
With you on "reconnaissance" forever.
I love you, you are in my heart,
And NOTHING will separate us!
Love of relatives from heart to heart,
Let it flow gently and hotly!
Reviews
This poem is very meaningful!
It was a cleansing: powerful, bright!
Important - after writing it a lot
has changed for the better!
And the most read on the site!
This Sunday there were 1239 reads at 21-00, I didn’t track them further, I left home :-)
Thank you, Tanechka!
With love, Svetlana
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It's great to have loved ones in your life. Knowing that there are friends and family who care about you and who can always support you in difficult times, a person has a feeling of security and need. But, as often happens, we offend the people we care about most often than others. Where we can restrain ourselves in front of strangers, in the presence of our relatives this is not always possible. And the question arises: how to ask for forgiveness from loved ones correctly?
Squeezing out “Forgive me” is very difficult. If you do nothing and leave everything as it is, then the tension in the relationship will grow. Thinking that over time everything will work out on its own is wrong, because this is an indicator of immaturity. It is easier to respect and trust a person who admits his mistakes. But how can you ask for forgiveness from your beloved girl, from your dad and mom, from your sister or best friend?
Why is it hard to apologize?
We can talk at length about the benefits of asking for forgiveness. Prepare a speech in poetry or beg him. All this is useless if you don't have the right attitude. The difficulty is this:- Pride and selfishness can become an obstacle to reconciliation. It is pride that makes a person think: “Why me? He is also wrong." Everyone is waiting for the first step from the other, and resentment can develop into hatred. To break this vicious circle, you need to calm down and analyze what you did wrong and how you can correct the situation. The quality of humility will help with this. Is it unfashionable now? Yes, many people think so, but we are talking about relationships with loved ones. The majority opinion should not affect your decisions. There is no shame in admitting that you are wrong; your family and friends will appreciate it.
- Education also plays a significant role. If as a child you did not hear the words “sorry” from your dad and mom, then this will be difficult for you too. This requires awareness of this fact and work on yourself. Try to “step on” yourself once and apologize, you will feel light in your soul and in your relationships. Next time asking for forgiveness will not be difficult. Come up with an apology in verse, this will help smooth out the tension.
- The right infusion. How necessary it is. Often people think: “If I ask for forgiveness, then I will make it clear that I am guilty and show my weakness.” This opinion is wrong. Agree, at least two people are involved in a quarrel. Do you want to say that you didn’t say too much or didn’t show disdain with your icy silence? You yourself know that there is a share of your fault.
What can be done
Before apologizing, it is important to consider a few things. Otherwise, you can mess things up even if you have the best intentions. There is no point in sorting things out when you are irritated. Wait until you both cool down. And a few more tips:- When figuring out how to ask a girl for forgiveness, in poetry or prose, it is important to be sincere.
- Different upbringings need to be taken into account.
- The emotional background also needs to be taken into account; it is different for each person.
Sometimes, just one word can hurt a person. So I, not at all out of malice, offended you, and now I simply cannot find a place for myself. Please forgive me. I'm so sad without you. Don't hold a grudge against me anymore. This quarrel became a big lesson for me.
With you next to me I breathe
I'm burning next to you,
I live next to you,
And without you I'm dying,
Forgive me, I beg you!
My prickly hedgehog, stop snorting.
Even though it will hurt, I want to hug you.
Darling, life is about mistakes, we learn from mistakes! After all, there is no pain stronger than that which lovers inflict on each other. And I stumbled and made a mistake. But the only person who doesn't make mistakes is the one who never does anything. I’m not making excuses, no, I just want you to understand that you are very dear to me, and everything that I don’t do is only because I’m afraid of losing you!
The fear of losing you turned my head and I was wrong. And I ask you, beloved, do not judge me strictly, but understand. I apologize for what I did. I love you very much and will do everything for your happiness! Forgive me dear.
Learning to build relationships
Understanding the above principles will also help in your relationship with your best friend. It all depends on how you interpret this concept. If the word “friendship” is a superficial concept with selfish motives, then you should not worry that you have offended someone. Your friendship will end in any case. And if the basis of friendship is affection, loyalty, mutual assistance, then such relationships must be protected.It is clear that there are no ideal people. From time to time there will be mutual grievances and complaints. You shouldn't put an end to your relationship. It is possible to mend a friendship. Most often, people are offended not on purpose: she said it without thinking; was rude while in a bad mood; as a friend, she interfered in something that was not her own business.
After you understand why your friend was offended, start a conversation with the goal of solving the problem and maintaining the friendship. Explain that you did not upset her out of malice. It won't look like you're making excuses, you're just clarifying your motives and motivations. You can apologize for hurt feelings. If your girlfriend is a romantic and emotional person, try presenting her a request for forgiveness in poetry.
I have been incredibly lucky in my life that fate gave me you. You are my angel, my favorite girl in the world. I apologize for offending you, my sunshine. Please forgive me. The lack of trust in you was a big lesson for me. Let's make peace, my kitten.
I promise to make you the happiest girl in the world, just forgive and believe me, my dear. My love will become a talisman for you, my only and desired one.
Every day lived without you is simply an unbearable test.. I think about you every minute, my joy. Please forgive me for offending you. After all, it was not out of malice. I love you more than life. Don't be offended by me anymore.
Let's keep our love, because it's so good for us to be together. Darling, I breathe you. I need you like I need air.
But this is in the heat of the moment.
This happens to everyone.
Please forgive me,
Love like that only once!
Sorry for the unnecessary words, and for my stupid actions. Believe me, there is no limit to my repentance! I want to look into your eyes again... Please forgive me!
The same principles apply if a dispute occurs between two friends. If a friend or girlfriend did not accept your apology, then it will be easier for you because you did everything possible on your part.
Parents are people who will always forgive. They forgive for thoughtlessly spoken words, for not having time to call them. Stop in your cycle of life. Mom and dad are the closest and dearest you have. Things may not work out with a girl, friendships may become obsolete, but your parents are always with you.
Make it a habit to call them every day and see how they are doing. Ask for forgiveness for your indifference to them. But what if you have not yet reached the age when you can fully make decisions and take care of yourself financially?
First of all, you need to realize that you can be wrong too. If you see only your parents’ shortcomings and don’t notice your own, then asking for forgiveness is extremely difficult. Besides, parents are not perfect. They want what's best for you, but they don't always know how to do it right. One thing is for sure, they truly care about you.
What methods do adults sometimes use to make children understand the full value of the “forgiveness” granted to them?
You have been offended. Mental pain prevents you from thinking about anything else. I want to stop communicating with the offender once and for all. Only if these are not your own children, you cannot erase them from your life. How to forgive children - the closest people, blood?
In the grip of the past
Tears boil in my eyes at times. A terrible situation, like a broken record, plays in my head over and over again. And somewhere the button that turns off the memory was lost.
Before you learn how to forgive and learn to forgive, you need to understand why people get offended in the first place.
The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan refutes the opinion of some psychologists that any of us can be offended from time to time. This is wrong. A presence in the psyche of some of us is responsible for the ability to be offended and mentally go over the smallest details of an unpleasant event for years.
Interestingly, this same vector makes a person a better husband or wife, father or mother, a reliable friend, an honest person and the owner of an excellent memory. It is memory, given by nature for the preservation and transmission of knowledge and experience to future generations, that allows us to remember all the good things and does not allow us to forget all the bad things. Therefore, once a resentment arises, it remains with these people for a long time, crowding out joy and satisfaction from life.
Grounds for resentment towards children
It is important to understand why people who were born to be the best parents can be offended by their own children. Moreover, the age of children can be very different - five years old, and forty-five.
The reason is, Yuri Burlan explains at the “System-Vector Psychology” training, that people with the anal vector are adherents of traditions. They preserve family values for generations, respect for elders, recognition of the husband and father as the head of the family. Compliance with moral principles, cleanliness internal and external, the ability to work with their hands and honesty - all this allows them to receive respect, honor, and gratitude from others.
And their children should be the best in everything: in obedience, study, work, in relation to their parents. Father and mother should be proud of their children!
And suddenly, with such correct parents, the child does not study well, acts up in kindergarten or school, takes other people’s things, lies, does not fulfill the demands of adults, does not respect elders, does not ask for forgiveness for misdeeds, does not complete anything, hands “grow from the wrong place.” " This list can be continued, but for parents with an anal vector the result is the same: pride and self-respect are hurt, ashamed in front of people, there is no reason for pride, the authority of elders is violated, ingratitude oppresses.
The discrepancy between the innate life values of the owners of the anal vector and the reality they face as parents leads to a surge of resentment among some of them. If at this stage parents do not deal with the reasons for their grievances, growing aggression, and sometimes even hatred towards their child, then the separation between them will grow further, increasing bitterness and suffering in the souls of both parties.
How to forgive children - ways of the offended
What do we do when we are offended? We are waiting for them to apologize to us. There is a feeling that this is a necessary condition for getting rid of resentment. Therefore, parents believe that the child should understand who is in charge in the house and ask for forgiveness.
How quickly adults forgive children depends on how fulfilled adults are in their lives, how balanced their psyche is at a given moment in life, and how many hidden childhood traumas lurk within them. If the parents' resentment is layered with their stressful state, then forgiveness can turn into punishment for the child.
What methods do adults sometimes use to make children understand the full value of the “forgiveness” granted to them?
A demonstrative long silence designed to show the severity of the offense inflicted by the child.
Constant reproaches for a crime committed in order to evoke a feeling of guilt and a desire to atone for it.
Setting various conditions (I’ll forgive you if you clean your room, get straight A’s tomorrow, eat oatmeal in the morning) in exchange for forgiveness.
Such attempts by adults to “sell an indulgence” to a child as dearly as possible are actually nothing more than manipulations, sometimes reaching the point of verbal sadism.
What does punishment by forgiveness lead to?
Since all children are different, with their own individual mental structure, they have different attitudes towards the need to receive forgiveness. Some sincerely repent, are tormented by feelings of guilt and, afraid of losing the love of their parents, ask for forgiveness over and over again with tears. Others, who themselves are not familiar with the feeling of resentment, over time understand that it is easier to immediately lie, get out, shift the blame onto someone else, ask for forgiveness and fulfill all the demands put forward, so as not to delay the reconciliation process.
Still others do not recognize anyone's authority at all. And excessive pressure and punishment in order to show the parents’ superiority over them and to achieve a request for forgiveness can lead to such children running away from home. In any case, the process of forgiving a child, extended over time and surrounded by all sorts of conditions, traumatizes the child’s psyche.
At the “System-Vector Psychology” training, Yuri Burlan clearly demonstrates what changes in a child’s personal qualities, his priorities and life role can result from not knowing how to forgive correctly.
A child, destined by nature for the role of lawmaker, grows up to be a liar. From the future creator of beauty - a man woven from fears. A possible head of state or leader of a movement becomes the leader of a gang. From a leisurely future highly qualified specialist and a caring family man, he turns out to be a sofa sitter, offended by his beloved mother and everyone around him, unable to make a decision.
Grievances towards adult children
If parents did not learn to get rid of grievances while their children were small, then resentments will grow along with their children. Children have become adults, and their parents' expectations of them have grown. After all, so much effort, time and money were invested in them, sometimes to the detriment of their interests!
Parents expect gratitude and reciprocal care, but children take parental “investments” in them for granted as things that do not require daily gratitude. That's how life works. After all, babies are not born of their own accord.
It becomes even more noticeable that children live with completely different interests, are guided by other life values, sometimes opposite to their parents. Life itself dictates a different pace, different goals, different ways to achieve them. The anal vector does not allow parents to comply with the trends of the times. Marriage, family, morality seem to have dissolved in the bacchanalia of modern mores. If previously the family served as a fortress for parents, today it is difficult to bring everyone together under one roof.
The mother is offended that her weekly family dinners are sacrificed for the children's trips to cafes and restaurants. You won’t be asked to go to your summer cottage, but they won’t refuse a bucket of berries, taking it for granted. And how the mother carried everything on herself is not interesting to them: “Don’t go, there will be time, we’ll all go together!” And when do they have it?
The father is annoyed by his sons' inability and unwillingness to do everything in the house with their own hands. So they try to throw money away by inviting a stranger to do the repair work instead of the father. Let the father do everything slowly, but for centuries! And all of them are in a hurry to get somewhere.
They have no time to visit their parents, they are “working.” What kind of work is this - poking a finger at the buttons of their computer or driving around the city from office to office, talking. Here before: you walk through the entrance, everyone greets you, in the evening your hands are humming, but your soul is singing - you have fulfilled the plan.
And the daughter, who, instead of knowing her place next to the children, behind her husband’s back, is in no hurry to start a family. Having fun with one or the other - it’s a shame to look your neighbors in the eyes! It’s a shame that you can’t even teach me how to use a belt anymore, otherwise I’d have to pull out my legs so I wouldn’t wander around in my short skirt anywhere!
What can you do when resentment towards children is suffocating? Parents turn into critics, vilifying everyone they saw on television in the morning, met behind the counter in a store, or who rushed past in a brand new car. They hide their resentment towards their children behind constant grumbling about their clothes, work, raising their grandchildren, and choosing a vacation spot. Parents do not understand that with their endless teachings to their already grown sons and daughters, they are pushing them away from themselves, depriving them of the desire to visit more often, to spend more time together.
How to get out of a vicious circle, inside of which the grievances of elders against younger ones are imposingly located?
How to forgive and let go of grudges
Recognizing the destructive role of resentment for a person’s personality, psychologists recommend recognizing the existence of the problem and letting it go as soon as possible. To do this, it is proposed to understand what exactly caused the offense, and whether it affects the mood and well-being of the offended person. The next step is to put yourself in the shoes of the offender and try to understand why he did what he did. And what would the offended person in this situation do in his place?
Psychologists are right when they say that no one is obliged to meet our expectations and plans for him. Although this is exactly what parents demand from their children. And failure to get what you want is often the basis for resentment.
It is impossible to control other people's actions and thoughts, but you can always do this in relation to your own. Therefore, we must acknowledge our responsibility as one of the participants in an unpleasant situation. Forgive both yourself and the offender, so as not to return to this traumatic situation, allow yourself to be happy and move on.
Everything seems clear and simple. However, the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan reveals that the advice of psychologists to put oneself in the place of another person and understand his action is not only useless, but even harmful. The reason for this lies in the differences in the structure of the psyche of people with different vectors.
People, endowed, depending on the vectors, with certain properties, temperament, and worldview, judge others through their natural qualities and life priorities.
And when a person puts himself in the place of the offender, he again judges the situation from his own bell tower and does not understand at all how he could have acted differently. Of course, he has no excuse for the “offender,” and, therefore, no reason to make peace with him.
Therefore, it would be more correct to suggest looking at what happened through the eyes of the offender. In our case, a child. To do this, every parent must understand exactly how his child sees, thinks, feels, and know what vectors determine his psyche. Only in this case will it be possible to understand what caused the child’s behavior, why he acted this way and not otherwise.
Thinking about “what you would do in his place” makes no sense at all. After all, it is precisely the discrepancy between the child’s action and how the parent would have acted that conceals the cause of the resentment that has arisen.
How to forgive and not be offended
The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan offers a completely different solution to the question of how to learn to forgive.
In order to stop sitting and waiting for everyone around you to feel your offense and start running around in the deepest repentance, you need to understand that this long-awaited moment may never come. Not because people are cruel. But simply because they have no idea how they offended you. But life has already passed, and you did not have time to enjoy it, did not have time to please your loved ones with your love.
To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to truly understand the mechanism of resentment towards a child, and towards any person.
Familiarity with system-vector psychology allows you to learn how to identify the vectors responsible for the psyche of both the parent and the children. And this, in turn, makes it possible to find out the differences between the psyche of a parent and a child. Understand what motivates both, why they react differently to the same event and act differently in the same circumstances.
Here, many parents face a not very pleasant discovery: they will have to learn about numerous mistakes in the process of raising their child. About how cruel and unfair the behavior, words, and demands towards him were. The feeling of guilt that arises after this in front of children, small or older, is not so dangerous. It will allow you to look at the current behavior of children in a new way, help you truly understand and find justification. Will give you the opportunity to forgive children.
And ask them for forgiveness for yourself because of the mistakes you have made in life.
Understanding your previously hidden psyche will help you forgive yourself for the time lost to grievances. The indescribable feeling of liberation from chronic addiction called “RESULT” will change both the internal and external appearance of a person.
The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»
