A person lives best in those moments when he does not know that he can live better.
Anthony Kiedis
Only very few people live for today. Most are preparing to live later.
Jonathan Swift
True courage is to love life, knowing the whole truth about it.
Sergey Dovlatov
Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
John Lennon
Life methodically survives us from all ages.
Valery Afonchenko
Life with a wife is not easy, but life without her is completely impossible.
Cato the Elder
Our life position often turns out to be incompatible with life.
Stas Yankovsky
If you inflate your joys to the size of troubles, then you can also derive pleasure from them.
Mikhail Zhvanetsky
Time is the best teacher, unfortunately, it kills its students.
Mark Twain
It is necessary to learn from other people's mistakes. It is impossible to live long enough to accomplish them all on your own.
Hyman George Rickover
It’s probably impossible to live without a good sense of humor in life. As one aphorism says, it is humor that can make the unbearable bearable, which, in principle, is a good help in everyday life. Therefore, in almost any life situation, ironic phrases and funny statements about life help you look at your situation from a new angle - the angle of humor.
Don't pay attention to minor flaws; remember: you also have large ones.
Benjamin Franklin
Don't be afraid of big expenses, be afraid of small incomes.
John Rockefeller
Forgiving your enemies is the best way to piss them off.
Oscar Wilde
Just because you're alone doesn't mean you're crazy.
Stephen King
There is a test to determine whether your mission on earth is completed or not. If you're still alive, it means it's not finished.
Richard Bach
A successful person is one who is able to build a strong foundation from the stones that others throw at him.
David Brinkley
A vital ingredient to success is not knowing that what you set out to do cannot be accomplished.
Terence Pratchett
A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, while an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
Winston Churchill
Everyone wants to change humanity, but no one thinks about how to change themselves.
Lev Tolstoy
If a problem can be solved with money, then it is not a problem. It's just an expense.
Henry Ford
If you take everything too seriously, you will be afraid to take every new step. Relax and laugh, especially when things go as planned, read funny sayings about life. People with a good sense of humor have an easier life.
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it makes it much more pleasant to be unhappy.
Claire Booth Loos
Anything that is not enjoyable is called work.
Bertolt Brecht
A correct decision made late is a mistake.
Lee Iacocca
Live as if this day is your last, and one day it will be so. And you will be fully armed.
George Carlin
History teaches us, at the very least, that things can always be worse.
Neil Gaiman
Try to get what you love, otherwise you will have to love what you got.
Bernard Show
You can't have everything. Where would you put all this?
Stephen Wright
Life is a cross-country race in which everyone strives to get ahead in order to reach the finish line last.
Vladimir Khochinsky
Life is a circus where everyone dreams of becoming a director or artist, but most become trained animals.
Stas Yankovsky
If you want your life to become brighter, stop darkening it.
Anatoly Rakhmatov
Of course, humor is a subjective thing. You may like it or not. But we tried to collect only the best funny sayings about life that will appeal to everyone.
Don't complain about life - even this might not have happened.
If you want to do something stupid, hurry up, otherwise they will get ahead of you!
Everyone is so afraid of becoming nobody in this life that they become just anyone.
When life tests you, your nerves are the first to give out.
You need to live in such a way that others experience depression.
Years will pass... And I was right: years have passed!
Nothing in life is more exhilarating than being shot at and missing.
Where we are not, it is good precisely because we are not there.
I just lay down and they’re already stabbing me to death!
Anything happens in life, but over the years it becomes less and less common.
No one has ever died from laughing. And no one grew old laughing. They say there are no old quotes, but only old people who love to retell them... So humor about life is forever young. Or even immortal.
Sometimes happiness falls so unexpectedly that you don’t have time to jump to the side.
Everything goes well. Just passing...
While I measured it seven times, others were cut off.
Happiness is when your desires are shocked by your capabilities.
Well, where we do not. It’s bad that we are not where it’s good.
It's better to be hungry than cold.
The best way out is in.
Try to die as young as possible, as late as possible!
Don't go with the flow. Don't swim against the current. Sail where you need to go!
Direct your thoughts where they should, otherwise they will direct you where they should not.
Faith in the best and a sense of humor perfectly help to cope with any troubles in life. And sometimes the word helps much more than anything else. A funny phrase can charge you with such a portion of positivity that you can move mountains.
If no one envy you, ask yourself, are you living right?
Life is given once. I couldn't stand it again.
How much has not been done in this life! How much remains to be done...
There is always room in life for not giving a fuck!
Respect old age, it is your future.
A person's life is counted in moments that he wants to stop.
Human relationships are sometimes so complex that we replace them with other, simpler ones.
Life is not as simple as you think... It is simpler...
Sometimes it’s only when you miss that you realize how you got there.
The salt of life is that it is not sugar.
A sense of humor is a kind of “Esperanto”, a universal code of communication for all people and nations. Therefore, funny statements will be understandable to everyone. So these quotes can be safely shared on social networks as statuses. After all, it is humor that fills our lives with joyful, life-affirming, optimistically encouraging laughter!
~~~"~"~*~"~"~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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rPDVPTLB © 2006-2018. rTY GYFYTPCHBOY OE ЪBVHDSHFE DBFSH UUSCHMLH ABOUT UBKF: http://site
Outstanding representatives of humanity, in order to express their opinion with their help and give it greater weight. And it doesn’t matter whether the author’s name is known or whether the aphorism belongs to folk wisdom. They are particularly successful because they help not only to express your attitude towards something, but also to show off your sense of humor.
Men about women
With the advent of social networks on the Internet, a real battle of the sexes began. Women are looking for interesting statuses to show their attitude towards the universe and men in particular. And the stronger sex uses funny statements as a weapon to resist this.
Women's funny sayings
The better half of humanity is also great at manipulating aphorisms. With their help, women can both laugh at themselves and point out to men their mistakes.
- Real men don't shy away - they doubt.
- When eagles are silent, parrots chatter.
- It is easy to say “I will die for you” when there is no need for such a sacrifice.
- Women never lie! It’s just that at first they have a girlish memory, and then sclerosis.
- With a good wife, a man can become a man.
- Funny sayings about blondes are written by scary brunettes on lonely evenings.
- If fate hits you in the forehead, then the kick in the ass didn’t work.
- It's better to be a young grandmother than an old girl.
- The truth should be presented carefully, like a dish of original cuisine, and not dumped out like fresh fish on Privoz.
- Women's friendship is only a suspension of hostilities.
- It’s not a big deal that there’s wind in your head, but the ideas are always fresh.
- Some men resemble clouds when they go to become lighter.
- My preferences are simple - I am satisfied with the best.
- The only medicine that brings more benefit to a woman than harm is a new dress.
Funny aphorisms and statements on general topics
Pearls of the mighty of this world
It happens that an absurd, funny statement that once escaped from the lips of a politician is remembered more than his entire activity.
- We have enough people who, as they say, are not on friendly terms with their heads.
- As they say, touch with your own eyes and see with your own hands.
- I approached people from your Cabinet of Ministers and asked what their specialty was. It turned out that somewhere a gynecologist works, somewhere a plumber works. (V. Yanukovych).
- Condoleezza Rice is a simple girl from Texas just like me.
- As a child, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut, but I had to study a lot, so I became president.
- Only we, the great American people, could send a lunar rover to Mars! (George W. Bush).
A new collection of cool statuses and aphorisms about life.
If a person does not have convolutions, wrinkles cannot replace them.
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Russians drink because they have nothing to do and work because they have nothing to drink.
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You should have sex only in one single case - when it presents itself.
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Finally I learned the rules of the game POCHER - life immediately became more fun.
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If I said I didn’t take it, then I won’t give it back!
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Odnoklassniki sign:
If you added a Man as a friend, expect all his women to visit!
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Married men can be easily recognized by their matrimonial facial expressions.
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The child was given a toy doctor set. The cat began a new life with intractable diseases.
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Who said that the state is us? The state is us...
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If you look at life soberly, you want to get drunk.
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Everything that is done is for the better. It's just not always to yours.
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I wanted to save money for my old age. Does not work. We'll have to put off old age.
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Girls 12-15 years old write statuses: “I miss him so much”...Are they talking about the brain or about the belt?!
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If you write to someone without a space: “IDIOT HERE,” then one will perceive it as a message, and the other as an invitation.
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It is impolite for a man to turn his back, but women - they are polite from all sides!
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When there is no one to do the Kama Sutra with, they do Yoga.
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Any Woman, when attacked by a Man, needs his protection.
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The smartest plant in the world is horseradish. He knows everything.
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There are men who say: “I’m the only one!” You look at him and think: “Thank God!”
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From a kiss to a quarrel is one step, and from a quarrel to a kiss - a week and new boots!
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A man is a tank: where the gun turns, so does the turret...
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If you have a good appetite, fried nails are a delicacy.
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Don't trust Russian puddles - this could be the entrance to the metro.
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Sign: If you forgot to put a tea bag in your cup, and after pouring boiling water, you find that it still turns out to be tea... then it’s time to wash the mug.
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Did you know that a thrifty housewife cuts meat for the holiday table into very thin slices? And the cunning guest eats them five at a time.
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Paradox: The more difficult the situation, the less charged the phone.
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When you’re on a diet, after six you can’t do anything, but after six you can do anything.
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If the dog doesn’t like the food from your table, then you need to drive away such... a wife!
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A healthy diet means filtering the tap water before brewing Doshirak.
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No matter what happens in your life, no matter what people you meet, it all ends with you sitting at the computer and eating something.
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I'm getting old! Previously, I would have sat at the computer days and nights trying to understand why the update for the program was not installed... But now I just deleted it...
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- Previously there was free education and free medicine, but what now?
- Free work.
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You can rent an apartment in Moscow inexpensively only with a camera.
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Sleeping babies are not only cute, but FINALLY!
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In Russia, a double solid one must be at least forty centimeters in height.
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- Daddy, daddy, can I kiss you?! - You can, daughter, but there’s no money, mom kissed me first.
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“Goth,” thought the parrot, looking at the crow. “Hey,” the crow thought, looking at the parrot...
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The doctors' strike was unsuccessful - their demands could not even be read.
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Great Moscow! And there is nowhere to park...
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The main task of paid medicine is to transform acute pain into chronic pain.
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A mat is usually used to cushion the effects of a fall.
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Money is dirt... but healing.
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Everyone is endowed with a brain, but not everyone understood the instructions.
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The fate of the rams is to be forever responsible for the goats.
Cool women's aphorisms and statuses
I hung a talisman against evil spirits at home... Now I can’t go in by myself!
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I don't want to say that I'm getting old, but all those sounds that I once made during sex, I now make just by getting off the couch!
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I'm tired of everything... I'm tired... I'll go to the monastery... To the men's... For three days... Mmmmm, or maybe four?.. Let's see how they greet...
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I wonder if they see me the way I see myself in the mirror, or the way I appear in photographs?
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I tell my husband: “I’ll go to church on Sunday and confess.”
Husband: “Take Validol, suddenly the priest will grab you.”
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Girls, advice from the heart: if you decide to get drunk, then you need to take your last glass with a SIM card!
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You can't eat at night. So I eat without looking...
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Today, I finally stepped on the scale and realized that cow candy is not just a name... It's a warning!...
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Today I was wondering. I really didn’t find the chamomile. In the end: the cactus is trash, my hands are bloody, but she seems to love it!
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I am modest to the point of ugliness... After the ugliness, I am again “modesty itself”...
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Women's folk wisdom: What I don’t remember, never happened!
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This morning while I was putting on my makeup, I fainted five times from my beauty...
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After 30, women's ear muscles weaken, so the noodles stop holding...
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If your employer treats you well, it means he is seriously underpaying you.
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Girls are divided into two categories: well dressed and well dressed.
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Everything that is given to us for free is better to take with money.
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A smart woman never gets offended - she immediately begins to plan revenge.
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If a guest hints that you have been staying too long, then it is better not to disturb the hosts and lie down.
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If things are not going well in the family, you should not arrange furniture according to Feng Shui, but sleep according to the Kama Sutra.
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Family life is whether you want it or not, but you have to want it!
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If you don't know what you want, you'll get what's left.
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Small world!? Go on a diet!
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Rare bastards are common.
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- All wives are like wives, but this one never has a headache! - the husband sighed.
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People rarely want to get married. People want to get married much more often.
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God created a woman…..looked and said:
- Okay... let’s put on makeup...
