Similar verse on my website
http://cvet-dushi.ru/proshhenie.html "Forgiveness"
My son, dear blood,
I ask you for forgiveness..
For lack of attention,
And for the control that I hold over you..
For not forgiving for a long time!
That she couldn't explain something...
That she only promised happiness,
And I couldn’t pour out my soul!
Dear son, beloved,
In fact: I love you!
You are a divinely beautiful light,
And I really, really appreciate you!
Son, dear baby,
You know, I'm proud of you!
And let each cell in you,
Hears the light! I'll enjoy it..
And you are a man of deeds, words,
Your soul is tender, kind...
Son, I'm always ready
With you on "reconnaissance" forever.
I love you, you are in my heart,
And NOTHING will separate us!
Love of relatives from heart to heart,
Let it flow gently and hotly!
Reviews
This poem is very meaningful!
It was a cleansing: powerful, bright!
Important - after writing it a lot
has changed for the better!
And the most read on the site!
This Sunday there were 1239 reads at 21-00, I didn’t track them further, I left home :-)
Thank you, Tanechka!
With love, Svetlana
The daily audience of the portal Stikhi.ru is about 200 thousand visitors, who in total view more than two million pages according to the traffic counter, which is located to the right of this text. Each column contains two numbers: the number of views and the number of visitors.
“Mom, how can this be, you promised...” my five-year-old son Vladik looked at me with bewilderment and resentment. And he was right, indeed, I promised to spend this Sunday the way he wanted. But I had more important things to do. How annoying it is to be guilty in front of your own child, but not to ask him for forgiveness?
It was supposed to be a great day for both of us, but it turned out to be really bad. Instead of a weekend spent with my son according to his scenario (zoo, cafe, then rollerblading in the park), God knows what happened. I needed to do an urgent editorial assignment. The task lasted for the whole day, by the evening I was so tired that I didn’t even have enough time to go to the park and roller skates.
Intellectually, I understood that this was a real grief for my son, because he had been waiting for this day off for a whole week. We planned together how we would go to the zoo to see an elephant and a giraffe, how we would then sit in a cafe and eat a festive lunch, and at the end, we would race through the park on roller skates.
It was painful for me to look at the child. He tried so hard all week to behave well, he was so happy in advance... My son already sees me a little in the morning and an hour before bed. And it turns out that mom promised and deceived: instead of the planned holiday, she sits at home, buried in the computer.
I tried to promise that everything would work out just fine next week, but there was no reaction. And it’s clear: for a five-year-old, “next week” is the same as “in a year.”
And I got angry: you might think that I myself really want to pore over the monitor on my day off! What should I do: explain - don’t explain, “mother’s work” will always be our main competitor to zoos, parks, circuses and so on. Yes, I'm upset myself! I didn't do it on purpose! But it was very offensive to admit that you were wrong in front of your child. After all, I didn’t let him down on purpose, I didn’t let him down on purpose, I myself want a zoo, a cafe, and ice cream!
Realizing that there would definitely not be a holiday, Vladik made his mouth like a frying pan and prepared to roar. Only this was not enough.
And I shouted:
- Stop being capricious! Mom is busy! Go to your place and play something.
Vlad obediently trudged to his room, dragging the stuffed hare behind him, and my heart ached.
The day passed sadly, Vlad spent almost all the time in his room. I looked at him quietly - he was sitting on the floor, all his toy animals laid out around him. He was probably playing at the zoo after all. Lunch also turned out to be completely uncelebratory. Vlad reluctantly picked at his plate with a fork, got off his chair and went to his room. And all I could do was sit at the monitor, bite my lips and “finish off” the task that ruined our day off with the child.
In the evening, putting Vlad to bed, I kissed him and still whispered:
- Son... I promise, in a week everything will be as we planned. Mom didn’t do it on purpose, mom had to work.
He looked at me very seriously, put his arm around my neck and said:
— When I grow up, I will earn a lot, a lot of money. You won't work. And we will go to the zoo whenever we want.
I was terribly ashamed. My child turned out to be more generous than me: I did not ask for forgiveness, but he forgave me.
He was already falling asleep, and then I finally said quietly:
- Forgive me, baby.
"Sorry" is the magic word
Should parents apologize to their children if they have done something wrong? Opinions on this matter vary: some are sure that the indisputability of parental authority saves mom and dad from the need to ask for forgiveness from the child. Some, on the contrary, are sure that an honest admission of guilt will only add respect to parents. Opinion of psychologist Gleb Slobin.
Gleb Slobin, psychologist
“If parents look at themselves honestly, they will see that they are often inappropriately harsh in their actions and statements, or, as in today’s story, they can allow themselves to deceive their children’s expectations, even “not on purpose.” Not to mention more serious cases. Having noticed this in yourself, you cannot simply silently “check the box” and promise yourself to improve. This is a necessary but not sufficient step.
If a parent wants a complete relationship with a child, real trust and love, and not formal “obedience,” then he should not rise in front of him as a copper-headed idol, always right and impeccable. It is very important to be able to recognize your limitations. And this in no way diminishes the parental authority, although some mothers and fathers are worried, they say, just apologize to the child, he will immediately get rid of him completely and will not regard his parents as anything.
But a child can perceive a sincere apology not as weakness, but as understanding on the part of an adult. The child will feel that the parent understands and empathizes with him, shares his grief, his powerlessness and despondency after an unfair or too harsh punishment. Or after disappointment, and the loss of a long-awaited day-holiday is, of course, a bitter disappointment for a five-year-old.
Admitting that you are wrong in front of your child does not mean that the parent should kneel down and apologize profusely. For example, very often parents sin not by the very fact of punishing their children for their real misdeeds, but in the form of these punishments. If you got carried away with your words, you can always say: forgive me for calling you such and such. You're not really like that. What you did is really wrong, and I am angry and sad. But I shouldn't have called you that. Or: I'm sorry I promised and didn't do it. I am very ashamed and I will definitely do what I promised.
If a parent feels that he has gone too far somewhere, then he should separate the pedagogical need for punishment for wrongdoing from how he fulfilled this need.
And if you have gone too far, apologize to the child and express your regret to him.
It happens that the issue is not unjust punishment, but that the child catches his parents in some unseemly act or deception against him. For a child, this is a very alarming situation, because he will immediately have a question: what else can mom (or dad) do if they are capable of deceiving, promising and not fulfilling?
In this case, the parent has no choice but to apologize to the child and honestly tell him: yes, I am guilty, I was wrong, please forgive me. And don’t think that the child is “small and doesn’t understand anything” - children understand much more and much better than we think. If you try, you can always find simple words that are understandable to them.
Children should not see their parents breaking the laws they are taught. There should be no room for double standards, like, you’re small - you’re not allowed, but I’m an adult - I’m allowed. Or worse: you’re small, which means I can deceive you and fool you, or take your thing without asking, or tell you something offensive. Or: you are small, so your hopes and expectations mean much less than my “adult” things. At the same time, many parents also for some reason believe that their children “have no right” to be offended by them - after all, they are parents!
If parents act in this way, then they definitely undermine all their efforts to raise the child morally and deal a huge blow to mutual trust and closeness in the family. After all, the baby strives to be like his dad and mom, and not like they tell him to be. Maybe in a year or five or even twenty years it will come up and the child will do the same.
To prevent this from happening, the parent must admit his guilt (and it is better, of course, not to act in such a way at all, so as not to have to blush in front of his own child), otherwise the relationship will be undermined by falseness. And the fruits of such parental deceit will be bitter for both fathers and children.
I'm so sorry son
That you only saw your mother's embrace.
And I didn’t feel what a firm hand meant.
That he was deprived of caring, brave,
Father's instructions for many years!
And no blow was given so that the boys
You were able to show in the yard who is the strongest!
But forgive me, even if involuntarily,
I am involved in your hardships.
I'll teach you to take a punch, to be noble,
Well, as best I can..... forgive me son!
Forgive me, darling, forgive me,
I know I'm to blame for you.
And my enormous pain in my chest...
I can’t hide, I can’t hide this pain.
Everything seemed like in a fairy tale, like in a movie.
And it turned out great in reality...
The fog of success has turned your head...
I can’t live alone without you...
I'll wait for the dawn to come
When you smile at dawn.
And I will hug you quietly,
And I will give you your favorite flowers.
Forgive me, my love, forgive me.
I know I'm to blame for you.
I just want you to smile
So that happiness and...
Forgive me, forgive me for not forgetting:
You, your smile and eyes.
I'm sorry I didn't say all the words
I'm sorry I couldn't do it myself
Dare to say that you are not mine.
I'm sorry that I forgot about everything around me,
Forgive me, forgive me for loving you so much.
I'm sorry that, hearing the most gentle voice,
Similar to the breath of coastal waves
Everything in me froze, everything was not easy.
I'm sorry that I couldn't become an adult.
I'm sorry that my heart is breaking into pieces.
And tears, and fire in the soul...
Forgive me, God, that in earthly life
I loved earthly things too much.
Forgive me for hoping to find peace in her -
After all, there is no peace here.
Sorry for sharing the poison of passions
With everyone I loved.
Sorry for the thoughtlessly killed children,
At least I knew what I was doing.
Forgive me, God, I am afraid of your judgment -
He is higher than humans and stricter.
Neither words nor deeds will save me,
But still - forgive me, God!
Forgive me, God, for every blow,
What did I do to my neighbor?
And glory to You for the priceless...
Forgive me, I'm not yours anymore
Forgive me, I don't love you
Forgive me, I can't love
Forgive me, I need to forget
Forget about everything that happened between us
Forget grievances and sadness
I'm sorry that I loved you
Forgive me, but I forgot you
Forgive me, dear mother!
That I rarely come to our house,
You're the only one who knows how to wait,
Calling on the sky for one thing -
So that my son feels good -
You ask the Lord, praying,
Thank you, mother, for everything -
I know you will forgive me.
Forgive me, my best friend!
I haven't visited you for a long time,
Without you I became like without hands,
You bequeathed to us to live long.
Always shared a hearth with me
And he brought me a glass of vodka,
You forgave my mistakes
And, I know, I have now forgiven.
Forgive me, my love!
I didn't often give flowers,
And it's rarely like that...
Forgive me for what I didn't do
Forgive me for what I didn't give
For the fact that there is white chalk on the asphalt
I didn't write our names.
Sorry for the fact that on a hot spring day
I broke the connecting thread between two souls.
Forgive me, I’m not Yesenin at all,
To love subtly, completely and sacrificially.
Sorry for being lazy,
Sorry for not being strong enough
Forgive me for being on my knees
I did not ask for forgiveness in tears.
Forgive and rhyme the wounded flock,
Forgive me for the interrupted flight.
Sorry...
Forgive me, forgive me, I beg you.
How I will live my life, I don’t know yet,
But I will firmly follow my path.
Forgive me, forgive me, it still hurts me,
That you and I have parted ways.
You're far away in the sky, but I'm free
Make your own mistakes on Earth.
Forgive me, forgive me, I remember
Minutes of happiness and love with you,
I don’t know if I’ll meet another one,
But life will be different then.
Forgive me, forgive me, I beg you
Don't leave, be my Angel.
We'll meet there...
We often try on our own patterns of happiness on our children, not allowing them to breathe, forcing them to take new heights that are not always necessary for them. It seems to us that another learned language, a master’s degree, or 7 years of music school will make our children happy. But the old saying goes: “Don’t raise your children, raise yourself, they will still become like you.”
One mother wrote a letter to her son. She asked to forgive her for the pain that she caused him with her attitude. And she received an answer...
“Son, now, after so many years, when I realize how my words hurt you, what pain my screams and breakdowns brought you, how these wounds closed and sealed your soul, I am seized by an icy shiver.
Sometimes, from powerlessness, tension, dissatisfaction, being lost in life, simply not knowing what to do with all this, I didn’t have enough strength to hear and support you in difficult moments for you, and instead something animalistic, wild awoke in me, that could shout at you and even sometimes lay a hand... on an angel with clear eyes. I remember how I could utter hurtful words at you, slam the door, put you in a corner, punish you for some minor offense. How could I not hear, not feel myself, and especially not you, spewing out these terrible screams and movements and endlessly frightening you with this.
Son, now, after so many years, I can’t sleep at night, remembering these moments and realizing what a horror, what an explosion of your micro-universe it was for you, when the person closest to you, support, protection, rear, your personal God for the first time on the ground turned to you with a lion's muzzle, spewing wild sounds.
If only then I could feel and see how you shudder from one of my sharp movements or tone, how everything shrinks inside you into a tiny lump, how you are unable to hold back your tears, how your sponge trembles... and later you do not stop taking out hands out of your pockets, fiddling with your hair, clicking your pen, averting your eyes or blinking too often, rocking in your chair, locking yourself in the room when I come home from work...
If only I understood that by wanting to see you realized and successful, forcing you to study hard, report on homework and learned lessons and rules, I increased this distance between us. Between you and me. Between you and your trust in the world and connection with it.
If only I knew, felt and understood all this, you wouldn’t have to get sick so often, sit at home because of non-acceptance by your peers, overcome complex mental states that affected your memory and nervous system, with gigantic stress pulling at least a C grade.
If I had realized all this when you were 2, 5, 10, 13...
Now, when I see you as an adult man who doubts himself, is shy in front of his boss, works at a job he doesn’t like because he doesn’t know what he wants, prefers to sit out than to act, considers himself a loser and a lazy person who doesn’t want anything from life and lives by the rules, like most people, relaxes only after a glass of alcohol... I get cold inside from every scream I make at you and every offensive word addressed to you.
Son, under all these layers there is love... Unconditional, pure, natural... The kind that flows from parent to child as nature intended, regardless of grades in school, behavior and the number of hours spent or not spent together.
And only now I know that you came to me to wake me up, even so late. Thank you for this.
Your mother."
This morning I read your letter and it hasn’t let me go all day.
I wanted to choose words for you that would be heard and understood correctly by you.
And I realized that the only thing I would like to say and wish for you, mom, is that you be happy.
Just happy. After all, under all your efforts to make me successful, you wished me happiness, and often a person’s happiness does not lie in success, good grades, or meeting social standards.
Happiness is being yourself, being accepted, heard, relaxed...
which means happy... without expecting blows from at least the closest people.
Without expectations of being special, of achieving anything, from grades for a quarter to a university diploma and a prestigious job.
Mom, it’s difficult for children of unhappy parents to be happy, you know?
And I see that your everyday life at a job you don’t like, your wanderings in the labyrinths of your relationship with your father, your own excessive efforts to be successful and meet social requirements take up a gigantic amount of your strength and do not bring happiness and joy at all.
You don’t smile, you’re tense, your eyes don’t sparkle, and I remember how I shuddered from one of your tense sighs.
If mom feels so bad, what can we say about me?
If a mother, an adult, big, strong, cannot stand in this big world and be herself in it: happy, beautiful, sparkling, then what can we say about me? Still small and not understanding the existing order here.
And I remember how I run to you, mom, joyful, filled, excited, such an exciting, intoxicating joy in me, such feelings, sensations, sparkle, liveliness, life, and already in a second I see your look, your gait, I already predict words... from which all this beauty inside me quickly fades away... and at first, every time I seem to forget about it and again run to you joyful and happy, life in me is still in full swing.
But every time I accept your rules of the “game” more and more and I myself become the same: my gaze fades, my sensations are erased and life ceases to seem like a huge opportunity, and boundaries and patterns triumph.
Well, you know this yourself now, mom, so I’ll stop there.
And once again I want to repeat to you, mom, that I really, really want you to be happy.
I don’t know what will make you happy, only you yourself know about it. Favorite job, man... you know better. And it doesn’t matter how old I am, 2, 5, 10, 13, 20... if you want to see me happy, please go to the mirror, look into your eyes and honestly answer yourself: are you happy? And if not, then remember, mom, that it’s very difficult for children of unhappy parents to be happy, you know?
And here you can’t deceive anyone or get through the eye of a needle. Please remember yourself, yourself... and make yourself happy.
Children of happy parents can do anything: any difficulties.
Mom, your own happiness is the most valuable contribution to my future.
I love you so much. Be happy, mom.
Your son."
I write these lines on my knees.
I ask for forgiveness, forgive me quickly.
Everything that happened is gone,
And it won't happen again.
I won't offend you
I won't betray you
You will be proud of me.
I ask you to forgive me for everything,
I don't understand what happened.
Well, how could it happen:
Resentment appeared in my soul.
I promise I won't
I will offend you more.
I'll forget the bad words
And we will be happy again.
How can you avoid making mistakes?
That never happens.
The world is not simple, and sometimes it is so forgotten,
It's always so easy to stumble.
And I ask you to forgive me for this,
That incontinence led to a mistake,
I can fix everything, change it.
Excuse me and give me a smile.
How important it is in this life to be able to forgive others,
Resentment and conflicts do not need to be started.
And effective words will help us with this,
Banal three words “Excuse me”!
Resentment, like poison, poisons us,
And relationships with others worsen.
Deprives us of peace day and night,
It brings only pain and a lot of grief.
But there is one antidote,
It kills resentment instantly.
A simple phrase: “Forgive me”
Sometimes it works miracles!
“I’m sorry” can be difficult to say,
But I believe that you will forgive.
I'm sorry for all the offenses,
After all, this is quite possible.
Accept my repentance
I won't do that anymore
Let's forget all the sadness
Please forgive me!
And everything around me became sad -
The whole world seemed to freeze in anticipation:
It was so easy to offend you...
How can I get rid of pain and suffering now?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry a hundred thousand times,
Forget about that bad and alien thing,
What was not in honor between us,
And remember my love...
Sorry, forgive my mistake.
Clearly something came over me.
I won't see a smile anymore
You won't forgive me for anything.
But we can all make mistakes.
Try to understand me.
Try to make amends,
Anything you want, I can do.
There is no worse feeling than guilt.
For your pain and sorrow,
I'm sorry, I pray
I ask you for forgiveness.
I don’t understand what it was.
Why does this suddenly happen to me?
I'm suffering, I just need
Your forgiveness is simple.
I sincerely apologize
I apologize endlessly.
Make amends for all your grievances
I will definitely try.
I don't want anything between us
There remains a misunderstanding
Always belonged to you
My love, my attention.
Forgive me for this quarrel.
Perhaps the stars aligned this way
Why have we offended each other?
Forgive me before it's too late.
I have been suffering from my words for a long time,
And, as if ice is melting in the sun.
It's so lonely without you
So listen, please!
We all need forgiveness
None of us are saints.
And we express our regret
Even though it’s hard for us sometimes!
And how nice it is when they say:
“It’s okay, forget everything.
Well, who doesn’t this happen to?”
Then they will forgive us and understand us!
