In life, it may happen that on one of the most wonderful holidays a person will be left alone. Of course, there is little pleasant here. But is it possible to find a way out of the situation? That's why we've put together 10 tips on what to do if you have no one to celebrate the New Year with.
1. Even if relatives live far away, there will always be good friends, colleagues, neighbors with whom you can share this holiday.
None of us wants to impose ourselves, to burden strangers with our presence on this purely family day. However, the New Year tradition has developed so that most people are happy to have guests for the New Year.
It’s enough to suggest an idea to your friends, to hint that you will be alone for the holiday. Most likely, a kind family will be happy to invite you to their place.
Don’t refuse: such a holiday may be exactly the coincidence of circumstances when you meet new interesting people who will be your good friends for many years to come. And those who are single “risk” acquiring a soul mate. After all, miracles happen on this night!
Don't be afraid to burden someone. If something is wrong, people will still come up with a reason not to invite you to their place: politeness does not work on New Year's Day. Therefore, if you are still invited to the celebration, go with a clear conscience: they really want to see you!
It is not necessary to help the owners, get in the way and give advice, but you can offer your participation in preparing the celebration. Of course, within reasonable limits. Feel like a beloved guest and allow yourself to relax!
2. Every year, theme parties are held in clubs, cafes and restaurants. Many people visit them after a family dinner, and judging by the packed halls, these events are really popular with the public. What is the advantage of going out over a family holiday? The fact is that for many women this is a reason to do something unusual, dance, flirt, get acquainted... Here you can allow yourself more freedom and be selfish - no running to the kitchen and back, the club takes care of all the fuss!
In a club, restaurant or cafe - it will be a celebration of a different “format” to which you are most likely accustomed. This is an atmosphere of light revelry and casual fun, not home comfort. Tune in to airiness and flirtation, leave your complexes and pressures at home - then you will definitely enjoy the holiday.
3. The best way to cope with the holiday alone is to dedicate it to yourself. Let the TV entertain you, but with a selection of your favorite films that always lift your spirits.
By the way, don’t forget about the Internet and telephone: you can be joined by relatives who, for one reason or another, are now far away. Promise yourself that you will give a real New Year's gift: you can start the morning with shopping, in the afternoon you can go to the hairdresser, and in the evening you can unwrap the purchases that you made a few hours earlier.
Make a list of things that bring you pleasure. Maybe it's a good novel, an old TV series, or a certain brand of cake? So now you can throw yourself a feast, a celebration of the fulfillment of small desires that have accumulated over the whole year.
Don't deprive yourself. This is your holiday too. Don't forget to give yourself a gift and make it special. Think about the fact that this is an unusual day that should be joyful.
Do not perceive what happened as a tragedy: after all, every holiday is special, and, probably, this particular one will be remembered for the fact that for the first time in many years you devoted it exclusively to healthy selfishness.
I am writing this note from a deep hangover. Hands shake, fingers fall on the wrong keyboard buttons. So forgive me for the confusion. And all not for the sake of hooliganism or chronic alcoholism, but only for the sake of the will of the editor who sent me on the assignment. After all, there is such a phenomenon - lonely Muscovites. New Year is just around the corner, and they don’t even have anyone to drink with. But it turned out that the matter was fixable.
- Hello, Vyacheslav? I'm calling you based on an advertisement. I'm looking for a drinking buddy.
The last phrase was the hardest for me. Still, I’m a non-drinker (in general), and at the moment I’m generally sober. And the man specified the address. And within forty minutes I was there. We immediately switched to you.
“You do a good job,” I said on the way to the cafe.
He admitted that he started drinking buddies this winter. There are few clients yet.
We sat near the window and ordered beer. Vyacheslav took a sip from his glass, grunted contentedly and suggested switching to something stronger. The waiter nodded understandingly and a minute later unloaded vodka, sliced lemon, orange juice and herring from the tray. I took out three and a half thousand rubles (yes, communication is not cheap these days) and gave it to my drinking buddy.
“This,” I say, “is for your work.” And then we’ll forget.
Slavka did not count and put the money in his pocket. At first he behaved as if he were taking an exam. He lowered his eyes and didn’t know where to put his hands. But after the third glass he grew bolder and said:
Women are evil.
I hiccupped silently and demanded an explanation.
Nobody knows what they want,” Vyacheslav developed the theme. - I’m forty-one years old. And I am a child compared to a woman. By the way, my wife is a teacher...
If Slava’s speech is reduced to theses, then the general meaning is as follows. There is no love. It was invented by idle poets. But there is chemistry that comes from women and which is stronger than any man. It’s not for nothing that Mayakovsky fell in love with Lilya Brik.
I kept trying to figure out what Slavka did for a living. But he, despite his alcoholic intoxication, resisted to the last. And he refused to elaborate. He only said that a couple of years ago he received a degree in psychology.
- Which university? - I asked.
“What difference does it make,” Slavka answered me. - Why do you need to know that? Imagine that we are just neighbors. We are going to Novy Urengoy.
I imagined.
Slavka chuckled all the way and was in an extremely cheerful mood. What amused him most was that I got divorced a year ago.
I don’t understand why you need to get married,” said Slavka. - So I live in a civil marriage with mine and I don’t complain. So don't rush into this matter. And take yourself not a Muscovite, but some village wench. They are more modest.
ON THE HIGHWAY
How much money have we wasted?
We drank the last one. I also had to pay the bill. And it turned out to be quite big.
To be honest, I don’t remember how much anything cost or exactly how much we ate and drank. I - a liter of beer and a bottle of vodka. He - 0.5 beer and a bottle of vodka. Orange juice. Two servings of potatoes with herring. Lemon slicing. Two servings of beef. Two servings of croutons. It seems that's it. And as if from a bush, 4000 rubles. Plus 3500 for the service. Total: 7500 - for a dubious conversation with a bad psychologist and a headache the next morning. By the way, if you call a “drinking buddy” on New Year’s Eve, you will have to pay three times more for the service alone - more than 10 thousand. After all, you have no one, and all your “drinking buddies” have families.
AND WHAT ELSE
We skate, sit in the lotus position
Dina KARPITSKAYA
My colleague Pavel Klokov was disappointed in the “drinking buddy” service. I offer singles more optimistic options for celebrating the New Year
The most family-friendly of all holidays - Christmas and New Year - are a very difficult period for single people. The absence of the other half is then felt most painfully. Many single people, who are not in a permanent relationship by their own free will, also feel not entirely comfortable at this time. What can you do to make the holidays a success, no matter what? Where and how to celebrate New Year and Christmas for a lonely person - a woman or a man?
Lonely New Year
The sight of happy couples making massive purchases, cheerful calls, songs, carols heard from everywhere, all this holiday bustle mercilessly reminds single people that the closeness of another person is what is really very important.
The abundance of information related to holidays in the media, memories from childhood and social models of behavior accepted in society make it so that unmet needs now make themselves felt most painfully. This applies not only to the turn of the year and Christmas, but also to other holidays that are usually celebrated in the family and in the company of loved ones.
This problem - having no one to celebrate the New Year with - is faced mainly by people who became lonely against their will: someone close to them died or left (for example, a couple got divorced). If there is still mourning, the sadness and despair are so great that even a house full of people will not fill the emptiness.
It’s also difficult for those who don’t yet have a family life. Loneliness is painfully experienced by people living in love triangles. Some people have been lonely for many years because they have no one close to them. And this applies not only to elderly and seriously ill people. What can I say - many single people, who are quite comfortable and even feel great in everyday life, also feel lonely on holidays.
What to do alone during the holidays?
Some take shifts at work, others go skiing or to warm countries with the company. Someone visits distant relatives because among closer relatives they feel completely alone in this world. Someone else is “sewn up” within their own four walls. These are mostly young people who do not have a partner due to their own choice, and who have concentrated their lives around their careers. The holidays are a time for them to finally do something for themselves. They read books that they didn’t have time to read, make up for the lack of sleep, do what they like. And since such people, as a rule, have many friends, after a family Christmas and the wishes of “well-wishing” aunties to “finally arrange their personal life,” they arrange holiday meetings with friends.
It is difficult to give universal advice on where and how to celebrate New Year and Christmas to a single woman or man. One thing is clear: for the holidays to be a success, you need to relax. And how exactly a lonely person will conduct them largely depends on themselves. It is important to understand that, despite the magical atmosphere of this period, you will not be able to change your life situation in just a couple of days. We won't find the prince from the fairy tale under the tree, so we must make good use of what we have. According to the crisis theory used in psychology, every crisis can give rise to some kind of development. Let's proceed from this!
Don't pretend there's no holiday
- If you have no one to celebrate the New Year with, do not think of the holiday as something bad, as a test that you will have to endure. Stop telling yourself that these days will be painful because without a partner you will feel like a fifth wheel at the table. After all, you are probably not a weak-willed person - instead of feeling sorry for yourself, it’s better to try to “fit in” with the group you want to be with these days. Say openly that you have no one to spend New Year or Christmas with, ask if you can come. Surely there will be friends who will be happy to invite you to their place, they just themselves cannot guess your secret expectations. And at the table, the hosts will make sure that you don’t feel lonely among the guests and that you have someone to talk to.
- If you are facing a lonely New Year, decorate a Christmas tree at home - for yourself, not for anyone else. Invite your friends or a person like you who does not have company. Even though these are family holidays, you don’t necessarily have to sit at the table with your family, surrounded by a bunch of children and aunties. You can propose a holiday gathering that does not conform to tradition = stereotypes, for example, wearing sportswear during a long walk in the woods.
- An alternative is also to go to a recreation center in some good place. Although the same families will be there, there is still hope of meeting a kindred spirit and “brothers in loneliness.” Or you can look for special away offers: now many companies are organizing the New Year specifically for single people.
- You can get involved in charity events, help prepare holidays in an orphanage or a home for the elderly/disabled, organize a collection of gifts, make colorful bags and take them to the hospital for children. Or maybe it is during these holidays that something will happen that will change your life in the most unexpected (and, it would seem, most inappropriate environment) situation? And your holidays will no longer be lonely...
They live next to us
It’s worth looking around - maybe in your environment there is a lonely elderly person, sick, deprived of support. It’s worth considering inviting him to your Christmas or New Year’s table or going to him yourself with holiday treats and a symbolic gift.
Some of these people actually have families, but for various reasons end up in nursing homes or hospitals where they will be for the holidays. It's not true that old people don't care anymore. Feelings of loneliness and moral suffering worsen their well-being and health. We need to remember this.
How to spend the holidays when someone close to you has passed away?
New Year's and other family holidays are especially difficult for lonely people who have lost someone close. How difficult it is depends on the strength of mutual feelings and relationships. Psychologists advise not to avoid meeting with relatives or friends. Sometimes people want to, but are embarrassed to invite a person in mourning because they are afraid of refusal or some kind of negative manifestations. Then it’s worth coming up with a proposal to organize joint holidays.
People in mourning often say that they will not spoil someone’s celebration with their sadness. It is up to them what to do with this grief. It is difficult to “turn off” grief, but at the table you don’t have to talk about these topics.
If lonely holidays stem from divorce, then memories and associated emotions also interfere with good mood. When someone is sad, you cannot command them to comfort themselves, and they cannot give such a command to themselves. Some people prefer to be alone with their grief and emotions, and people inviting them should respect this. But, without insisting, leave a “loophole”, saying that the guest can come to them at any time. If you yourself are in the role of such a guest, then also do not categorically and irrevocably refuse the invitation: it is possible that at the last moment you will change your mind or in the midst of New Year's Eve or at another time you will feel a strong desire to be among other people.
Christmas and New Year are a time for thought and reflection
On holidays we take stock. So it’s worth thinking about our existence - whether we really lead a lifestyle that suits us internally. Are you a convinced loner who only experiences a little discomfort on holidays, or have you found yourself alone against your will? If you don't want to be alone, then why are you still alone? Maybe you have distanced yourself from people, maybe you have difficulty making contacts, you are afraid or ashamed of them. Some people want to be alone - both on holidays and on weekdays, but this is unnatural when people do not strive for close relationships. Then, as a rule, there is a bottom to the situation that needs to be looked for: bad relationships in the family, disappointment in friendship, love, low self-esteem. This needs to change so that the next holidays will no longer be lonely, but completely different.
If you are in conflict with your family, think about how to resolve it. If you don't have friends, what can you do to find them? You are afraid of new relationships - how to open up to them. Women who spend the holidays alone because they are having an affair with a married man should think about what they expect from this arrangement. When there is no future, they block their own path to another, full-fledged connection. If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, seek the help of a psychologist. Sometimes just a frank conversation is enough, and sometimes therapy is necessary.
New Year is a holiday full of signs, rituals and attributes. Some perceive it as a “family” event, while others believe that it is unthinkable without a big company. But there are situations when you realize that this time you have no one to celebrate the New Year with. There could be many reasons for this: your parents left for their company, your friends gathered at home, in their families, you quarreled with your lover... or you are simply alone at this moment, your plans fell through for reasons beyond your control.
Or maybe you’re completely hesitant, and you don’t want to go anywhere, but you never know for any reason? But is it worth making a tragedy out of this?
There are many options for how to spend the New Year interestingly alone. But first of all, what you definitely shouldn’t do.
Remember what the great Omar Khayyam said: “It’s better to be alone than with just anyone”? That is, you should not go to some random company that is absolutely uninteresting to you, just for the sake of “celebrating with someone.” Or urgently look for a companion to celebrate the New Year on the Internet - the latter can be simply dangerous.
Getting drunk alone to the point of insensibility with the thought “oh, let it all go to waste.”
Stupidly, aimlessly staring at the TV all night, sluggishly clicking on the buttons.
To cherish a complex of one’s own uselessness and to be offended by the whole world.
Feel sorry for yourself.
To believe - in this case - that how you celebrate the New Year is how you will spend it. That is, do not put a program inside yourself for eternal loneliness.
And in general, you shouldn’t succumb to all the hackneyed New Year’s stereotypes.
Here's what you need.
Take all the advantages from the current situation. You can watch whatever you want on TV, eat whatever you want.
And in general, understand that you are in an unusual, but interesting position in its own way. This may not happen again!
Remember that many people celebrate New Year at work. Among them are meteorologists from aviation weather stations, ambulance doctors, police officers, television workers on duty, railway workers, and you never know who else!
And now - some possible scenarios for celebrating alone.
So, the first option is New Year's Eve at home. There are plenty of options here.
The first one is traditional. That is, you celebrate the New Year approximately in the same way as you would celebrate it with your family, but just alone. You can dress up yourself and decorate the Christmas tree, set the table with your favorite light snacks and delicacies, at midnight, as expected, pour yourself champagne, write a wish on a piece of paper and burn the note with the last strike of the chimes. And then take a gift from under the tree, which may include an item that you have long dreamed of and finally bought (you need to take care of this in advance), accept congratulations, and then... do what you want. You can watch TV, and no one will force you to stare at Pugacheva and Galkin, as relatives could do. Or you can leave the assigned New Year's television space and watch your favorite films... Or listen to music that you have long wanted to enjoy in peace and quiet. Or even take up something you haven’t gotten around to doing for a long time. For example, sort through your photo archive - it can be exciting. You will be enveloped in a haze of memories. And you’ll wash the dishes later. Yes, and there will be little of it.
In the bathroom
Do you like to lie in the bath? Then this option is for you. Nobody encourages you to lie in it all New Year's Eve, but that very first glass of champagne can be drunk while lying in the water, among aromas and incense, after peeling and other pleasant procedures. Fun and angry! Just remember that you shouldn’t drink more than one glass in the bathroom!
In the Internet
Are you an avid networker? Well, you can throw yourself a virtual New Year. If you have Skype installed on your computer along with a video camera, then you can, to some extent, feel the presence of your interlocutor in your apartment. It’s a good idea to communicate, for example, with foreign friends who do not sleep, but in whose habitat the New Year may not be given such importance, with acquaintances and relatives from other cities. This is a holiday with a geographical twist. As you know, you can even drink on Skype by holding your glasses up to the screen. And there are also blogs. The blogosphere may be somewhat empty on a holiday compared to ordinary days, but some of your virtual friends will probably be there. Tested by my own experience!
On the phone
Remember the old days. It is quite possible that, in addition to active contacts on your mobile phone, you still have a couple of notebooks from earlier times. Call everyone you love! The New Year is a great opportunity to renew old contacts and relationships. Some people call strangers on New Year's Day and congratulate them on the holiday. This is, of course, interesting, but alas, in our society there are many boors and slow-witted people.
In a dream
And if you don’t want anything, you can finally go to bed, telling yourself that, in essence, this is the same night as all the others. The only thing is that the noise of firecrackers outside the window and other signals of celebration may prevent you from going into the arms of Morpheus.
On a journey
If you have enough financial resources and have realized it in advance, go somewhere. However, if you didn’t even realize it in advance, there are finally last-minute travel packages. But where to go depends on your capabilities and wishes. Warm, exotic countries can be a good option for a solo New Year's voyage - there are no usual holiday attributes such as a Christmas tree, snow, etc., which means there is no such New Year's excitement. But there is sea, sun and heat. Accordingly, you can safely “disconnect”. It’s about the same with European countries, where Catholic Christmas is celebrated en masse, and the New Year is not given much importance. In general, you can go anywhere - to a ski resort, to a romantic European city, or, in the end, to the Suzdal tourist complex, nearby Belarus, or even to a spa center somewhere in a village near Kurzeme. Any hotel has a festive New Year's program, which you can join by becoming a full-fledged participant. The only point: the hotel must be chosen correctly - it should not be separate cottages where vacationers celebrate the holiday in “their own corners”.
In transport
In Ekaterina Vilmont's work "Cinema and the Germans" there is a lonely heroine who every year on the evening of December 31st boarded the Moscow-St. Petersburg train, spent the night on the train, and during the next day enjoyed her favorite city, after which she followed the same route back . However, for her friends she composed a legend about her St. Petersburg aunt.
It is not necessary to come up with such excuses, but this move can be used. There is something romantic about the New Year's journey, especially since passengers on such trains, due to the limited space, unite and celebrate the holiday cheerfully. So it’s probably better to take a ticket for a reserved seat carriage, for greater unity. A variety of people travel on trains on New Year's Eve - both those who deliberately wanted to celebrate the New Year on a trip, and those who just happened to do so. Do you remember the episode with the man sitting at the airport from Ryazanov’s comedy “The Irony of Fate or Enjoy Your Bath”?
By the way, you can buy a train ticket directly on December 31st much cheaper than at usual times.
Ideally, the train should depart between 20.00 and 23.00 - so as not to wait long for the holiday, but at the same time to make easy preparations for it. The route, if you are traveling for one day, should not be particularly long.
And if you feel that you are not able to walk around the city without a break after a sleepless night on the train, extend your trip by renting a hotel room for one day.
In a club or restaurant
Look through the poster and find a New Year's program to your liking. You will not be left alone in such places. The only thing is that you need to take some, so to speak, precautions: go to a trusted place, having first read reviews and recommendations. And do not leave the club, that is, do without adventures.
On the street
One of my single acquaintances told me how wonderful he once celebrated New Year’s Eve on the Crimean Bridge - how Moscow shone with lights and how he and other people from the crowd joyfully clinked champagne in disposable cups. In fact, many people come to “iconic places” on New Year’s Eve and there is general street rallying. The only thing is to choose truly iconic places - Dome Square for Riga residents, and the main square of the city for everyone else, an observation deck, and so on. This will be both more meaningful and safer. And to make it more fun, stock up on champagne or a thermos with hot drink, a couple of tangerines, sparklers and decorate yourself with New Year's tinsel.
This New Year's Eve will be followed by the next one, and then another and another... And you will probably meet them alone with your lover or in wonderful company.
But at the same time, it is possible that the memory of an amazing lonely New Year’s Eve will remain one of the brightest episodes of your life.
People who respect family traditions and lovers of noisy companies will certainly sympathize with solitude on New Year's Eve. Although, if you think about it, “active preparations” and “stormy meetings” are so tiring for the nervous system and for the whole body that, perhaps, celebrating the New Year alone is the very best option that you have been thinking about all these last weeks .
We have collected 5 proven life hacks that will help you properly (and fun) celebrate the main night of the year in a small but proud company of yourself.
Dress up for yourself (and not as expected)
But don’t forget about the holiday atmosphere - experiment with your look and be sure to dress up. Have you ever wanted to try on a tuxedo on your naked body? Or try a purple lipstick shade? On this night you will be able to allow yourself anything: after all, there is a festive occasion, and, luckily for you, there will be no all kinds of critics and hypocrites.
There is also a belief that the New Year should be celebrated in everything new. Why not go shopping on the eve of the holiday?
“Alone” does not mean “alone”
There is no concept of “New Year alone” - we live in a world of new technologies and global networks. If on New Year's Eve your loved ones are far away, and your friends have flown to the islands, then you can always call them or write a message on Facebook. No, we are by no means calling on all single people to sit at the computer or with a smartphone in their hands on New Year’s Day - but still, you shouldn’t isolate yourself within four walls.
If you have a desire to go out, then do not deny yourself this. After the president's ceremonial speech, you can go to a party (an alternative would be a walk around the city center or in your favorite area). Take a phone book and call people with whom you were friends 5-10 years ago. It is quite possible that you will be gladly invited to their holiday table. You can also open the Internet and see which clubs and cafes offer a New Year's entertainment show program.
And if you are not one of those who like to party, pour tea or coffee (or better yet, mulled wine) into a thermos, put on your favorite suit or dress, stock up on firecrackers and sparklers - and go to the city Christmas tree in the park and join the fun crowd. You definitely won’t feel alone among the celebrating people.
Reflect
And the New Year holidays are a great time for... writing memoirs. Savor the most memorable moments of your life, and also tense up and remember what could decorate the novel of Lev Nikolaevich himself. Maybe this New Year's Eve will be the start of your writing career.
Enjoy peace of mind
You should always remember the golden rule - “everything that is done is done for the better.” Buy your favorite drink, cook a couple of your favorite dishes (or order delivery from a decent restaurant) and do what you love. Maybe you haven't looked at your stamp collection or sorted through photographs for a long time? Has someone for a long time not picked up a guitar (violin, flute), sat down at the piano (drum kit), painted, or created? Or did you not have time to read the book that your friends recommended and watch the acclaimed film?
In general, the idea of devoting New Year's Eve (and all the remaining holidays) to cinema seems to us one of the best options, because this is a unique opportunity not to miss the long-awaited program and watch all your favorite films. Just imagine: no one will interfere with enjoying your favorite episode, no one will put on Olivier while watching a romantic scene, when you really want to relive the climax of your favorite comedy. Beauty.
Leave
If you haven't been on vacation for a long time, why not combine your long-awaited vacation with the New Year holidays? Whether it will be a tropical island or Europe imbued with the Christmas atmosphere is up to you. Many people prefer to explore new countries alone, and if you are one of them, then this New Year’s Eve scenario is just for you.
The New Year alone with yourself does not have to be sad and dull. Only you can take care of the festive mood, so don’t let circumstances ruin the whole holiday!
