Dramatic scene for schoolchildren. Funny scenes for schoolchildren

The main characters of these scenes are schoolchildren and teachers. From these scenes, a KVN business card is easily assembled. It can be used in the KVN game, or it can be shown in any school concert.

Scene "At graduation"

Loud trendy club music is playing. Several people are dancing. The girl dances the most energetically.

GIRL: Parents are gone! It's time to have a good time! Let's push back! Ugarim! Arrange a riot of elastic bodies!
GUY: Elena Nikolaevna, I understand you very much. But let's wait until the children disperse!

Scene "The case in the Romanian school"

Teacher and children. Children seem to be sitting at their desks.

TEACHER: So, the results of the test. Ionescu - five! Petrescu - five! Curtain - five! Ceausescu - three. Dracula. (the teacher takes out two aspen stakes tied with a cross) Dracula - Kol!!!

Scene "Very vigilant guard"

ANNOUNCER: Now in every school you can find such a person.

A guy in a black jacket and a black cap sits on a chair. It should be clear that this is a guard. He gnaws seeds.

An armed guy comes out of the wings. Machine guns, grenades, knives - all this should be very noticeable. He walks past the guard. He stops him at the last moment by the hand.

GUARD: That's it! What did you think, just like that you will pass through me ?! I'm not just sitting here. I'm here just for people like you. You think I didn't notice... - your left shoe is dirty! Keep your shoe covers, and next time you will come in a change of shoes.

Scene "Alcoholics Anonymous"

There are four participants: three guys and a girl. They stand in a semicircle, like at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. At the end, it will become clear that these are three male teachers and the principal of the school, but at the beginning this should not be given to the viewer.

GUY 1: My name is Nikolay and I am an alcoholic
GUY 2: My name is Vasily and I am an alcoholic
GUY 3: My name is Igor and I am an alcoholic
GIRL: Comrades, I understand everything, but work, physical education and life at school must be carried out. Only one quarter left - be patient. And then do whatever you want!

Scene "Once in the school cafeteria"

On stage, a saleswoman and a schoolboy.

SCHOOLBOY: I have one gastritis, intestinal upset and dysbacteriosis
SALES WOMAN: What gastritis?! What disorder?! Where did you even come!? It's the school cafeteria!
STUDENT: Okay, let's go the usual way: soup, pasta with gravy and jelly.

Scene "In the Pharmacy"

A pharmacist and an advanced student hold a tablet computer in one hand and a smartphone in the other.

SCHOOLBOY: Girl, good afternoon, I need coal.
APTOCHIST: Activated?
SCHOOLBOY (with a grin): I am the winner of the city Olympiad in Informatics! Let's demo. If I like it, I'll activate it myself.

Scene "In the school library"

The librarian sits behind the counter. Reads something. Three teenagers enter. Approach the librarian.

GUY: Us, please. 3 hamburgers, 3 fries, 3 cokes.
LIBRARIAN (whispers): Children, this is a library!
GUY: Understood, not a fool. (further in a whisper) We, please, 3 hamburgers, 3 potatoes, 3 Coca-Cola.

Scene "Physical Education"

ANNOUNCER: And our gym is breaking records right now.

The screen opens. There are two girls on stage. One with great difficulty does a classic push-up. The second helps her: she considers

GIRL 2: 98, 99, well, just a little more...100!

Girl 1 breathes heavily, comes to her senses

GIRL 2: Katya, you are cool! Do you even realize how many push-ups you did! But we will not stop there! We will gradually increase the load! Tomorrow, let's not start counting from 98, but from 96!

That's all for now. Eight short dynamic scenes are enough for a five-minute performance in KVN.

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And on various holidays, in addition to amateur performances, which clearly show the vocal and dancing talents of classmates, funny performances, theatrical performances and skits are especially popular.

We offer a script comic school scene "Deserved Grade" written based on the story of the same name by Konstantin Melikhan (thanks to the author!). Such a scene can be shown at any holiday: Knowledge Day, Teacher's Day, March 8 or graduation.

Characters:

Teacher Maria Ivanovna (name can be any)

Pupils (it’s better to call guys by their proper names, in this scenario the names are conditional. There may be more or less of them)

School play script

Maria Ivanovna: Denis, where do capercaillie winter?

Denis: They roam under the snow.

Maria Ivanovna: An interesting observation. Lera, what do you know about crabs?

Lera: Crabs... (waiting for prompts) These are such fish ... Similar to crayfish!

Maria Ivanovna: Sit down, already! Julia, What class does the cross-spider belong to?

Julia: To the cruciferous class!

Maria Ivanovna: And our Yulia has all the flowers on her mind! Where do hamsters live? Kirill!

Kirill: At the pet store!

Maria Ivanovna: What are you saying?!!!

Rogov enters

Maria Ivanovna: Well, why are you late this time?

Horns: I accidentally fell into a puddle, returned home to change, and at the same time ... and had lunch.

Maria Ivanovna: And how did you eat? Sit down, my grief! Well, since we are all gathered, let's listen to ... Rogov! Learned?

Horns: Learned.

Maria Ivanovna: Get started!

Horns: Aloud?

Maria Ivanovna (terribly): Rogov!

Horns: Your smile is wonderful!

Maria Ivanovna (conciliatory): Well, well, Rogov, tell me.

Horns: Your hair is always so neat! Not what I have.

Maria Ivanovna (embarrassed): Thank you.

Horns: Your jacket is beautiful, it suits you.

Maria Ivanovna: I understand correctly, you didn't learn your lesson?

Horns: Sorry, didn't learn. You can't hide anything from you... Of course, with such and such work experience! You, Mary Vanna, how long have you been suffering with people like me at school?

Maria Ivanovna: Oh, Rogov, Rogov! Tell me, where do the birds fly away for the winter?

Horns: There!

Maria Ivanovna: Well, sit down. Troika!

(Referring to the class): Well, since Rogov has excelled so much, I will ask everyone. Let's take a quick survey with you. Anya, what are the benefits of ants?

Anya: Ants protect fruits from caterpillars, and then people collect and preserve them.

Maria Ivanovna: Who knows why some birds fly south?

Fedya: And some, perhaps, laziness!

Maria Ivanovna: Look, our Fedor woke up! Where do whales live? Well!

Chorus: In China!

Maria Ivanovna: Well, I'm on a roll today: the farther, the more interesting! How Do Doves Breed? Rogov!

Horns: Pigeons lay eggs, and then doves hatch from them.

Maria Ivanovna: Well, not cabbage rolls! Sit down, my dear... Julia, what are nature reserves?

Julia: Nature reserves are places where animals have a rest from people.

Maria Ivanovna (walking through class): Really? And I didn't know! Where can I find a teacher's reserve? Cyril, what skull bones do you know?

Kirill (waking up): Frontal, parietal and slap!

Maria Ivanovna examines the note taken from the girls.

Horns (speaks with Fedor - a neighbor on the desk): There is no secret here: hang noodles on the ears of this kikimore about eyes and blouses, and she will relax!

Fedya: Hush, you will hear!

Horns: Nonsense! Don't drift, she's two meters away and Rammstein won't hear!

Maria Ivanovna (sits down in his seat): And now let's listen to Rogov.

Horns: You already asked me...

Maria Ivanovna: And I'll ask you on the old topic. Tell us about...

Horns: Your smile is amazing...

Maria Ivanovna: What else?

Maria Ivanovna: Closer to the topic!

Horns: You have a figure like a top model!

Maria Ivanovna (doubtfully examining his figure): So you don't know anything at all!

Horns: You are just like Messing, you see everything, you know everything! And why did you go to school to work? Spoil your nervous system because of people like me. Tomorrow is a holiday: you should go to the spa, and you are ruining your health here! And even better - to the sea, to read poetry, to meet a good person!

Maria Ivanovna: Well, sit down, Rogov. Troika...

See also funny poems about school for children. The advantages of our funny scenes are that they do not require costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and the one who plays the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be put in a magazine), they need to be rehearsed for a short time. At the same time, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes, looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. See also School Humor.

1. Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"

Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first will get a point higher.
Disciple Ivanov (pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I'll be the first, give me three at once!

Teacher: Your composition about a dog, Petrov, word for word is similar to Ivanov's composition!
Disciple Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!

Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why is it not finished?
Student Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?
Pupil Koshkin: I don't know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandpa? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.

Teacher: What kind of word is "egg", Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Student Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.

Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Disciple Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!

Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes: "Dad went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad - subject, left - predicate, in the garage - ... pretext.

Teacher: Who guys can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Tyulkin's student holds out her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Tyulkin's student: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.

Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral "three".
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a knitwear factory.

Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the blackboard, write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets.
Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: And what?
Teacher: Where did you see bespectacled butterflies?

Teacher: Bags, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!

Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, give me your example now.
Pupil Petushkov: A cat is a dog.
Teacher: And what about "cat - dog"?
Disciple Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.

Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Disciple Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time at a break!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What about you?
Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?

Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, call!

2. Scene "Correct answer"

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is that?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Student: No, you shouldn't plum.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How much is correct?
Teacher: And now I will put the correct answer in your diary!
(I. Butman)

3. Scene "Our cases"

Characters: teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then he promised to improve.”
The student writes from dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Great! Underline all the nouns in your story.
The student underlines the words: “dad”, “mother”, “Vova”, “behavior”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Ready? Decide what case these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Student: Mom and Dad. Who? What? Parents. So, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. "Vova" is a name. So the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. So, here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest to give yourself?
Student: What? Of course, five!
Teacher: So five? By the way, in what case did you call this word “five”?
Student: Prepositional!
Teacher: In a prepositional? Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)

4. Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"

Characters: teacher and students of the class

Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I have no idea who you can become?
Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!

Teacher: Trushkin is coming to the board to solve the problem.
Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Disciple Trushkin goes to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are sweets!

Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Disciple Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know math!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how much is three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will only answer your question in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Student Ivanov: Mom doesn't have free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 on your own.
The students get to work.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentiev?
Disciple Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he is copying me, and I'm just checking whether he did it right!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.

5. Scene "At the lessons of natural history"

Characters: teacher and students of the class

Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov raises his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Disciple Petrov: A tiger, a tigress and... three cubs.

Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Kosichkin's student: These are the kind of forests in which ... it's good to take a nap.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Simakov's student: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to a person?
Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?
Apprentice Roosters: "Frog Traveler"

Teacher: Who will answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev holds out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That's what I see: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it entirely depends on the cat.

Teacher: Go to the blackboard ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (going to the blackboard): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head - seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you are saying! Is it possible?
Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, answer me, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt the amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in its beak?
Student Belkov raises his hand above all.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Pupil Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, what teeth appear last in a person?
Teplyakov's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately put a five with a plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”
Student Klyushkin raises his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Disciple Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!

6. Scene "Folder under the arm"

Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took a folder by mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrew: Ha-ha-ha! Indeed, it's funny.
Vovka (surprised): What's so funny? I haven't started talking yet.
Andrey (laughing): Folder... under the arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder under the arm and will not fit, he's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? Folder - daddy. You forgot how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrei: (winking and pounding his forehead): Ah, I guessed! Grandfather - under the arm! He speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great you came up with it - funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. You didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Yes, even dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller was found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrei (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't even laugh?
(I. Semerenko)

7. Scene "3=7 and 2=5"

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: And what?
Teacher: All year you did nothing, did not study anything. I don't know exactly what to put in the statement.
Petrov (looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? What?
Petrov: I decided that all of our mathematics is wrong and ... I proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was mistaken and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he, too, After all, they said that three is only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): That's not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: How is it?
Petrov: Look, 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 = 0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Yep! So, Petrov, survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: Understood. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5 (4-4) \u003d 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: That's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don't be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both parts of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. So did you do it?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put "2", it doesn't matter. A?
Petrov: No, it's not all the same, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to a five!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)

8. Scene "Schoolboy and seller"

Characters: a schoolboy and a shop assistant

Sales assistant: What do you suggest?
Schoolchild: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales assistant: I don't know.
Schoolchild: Okay ... Pythagorean theorem?
Sales Assistant: … (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales Assistant: (sighing) I don't know...
Schoolboy: Well, what are you climbing then with your “What can I tell you?”!!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)

9. Scene "Schoolchildren at the stadium"

Characters: schoolchildren and stadium informant

A group of young fans led by a leader loudly chant:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly, the voice of the stadium informant turns on:
Informant's voice: Attention young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
"SPA-RTAK IS A ROMAN SLAVE!" "SPA-RTAK IS A ROMAN SLAVE!"
(KVN team from Ryazan)

10. Scene "Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather"

Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov

Hello Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Wu, the deeds of might.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, one wick blew such a thing. Rides to the sket. Give, he says, great to drive. Sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And he let's show off. Broke the mitten. Yes, how shaky. Himself with a black eye. The teacher almost went off the rails, but the bike hooted. In rzhachka. Cool, right?
- And what, there was a horse?
- What horse?
- Well, who was neighing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Nu, nothing you not understood?
- Come on, let's start over.
- Well, let's. So one wick...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- And what is this wick?
- Well, one guy, long, rolled up to the box ...
- What did he ride, on a bicycle?
- No, the child had a bicycle.
- Which sket?
- Well, shibzdik one. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a schnobel.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with whom, but with what, his nose is in the form of a schnobel. Well, let's go, he says, it's great to drive. Sat down and scratched.
- Did he itch something?
- No, he drank.
- Well, how did you cut it?
- What did you cut?
- Well, is it big?
- How?
- Well, this same, schnobel?
- No, the little girl had a schnobel. And the wick had a black eye, a bzig struck him in the head, and he began to roam. He opened his mitten, so he twitched.
- And why the mitten, did he twitch in the winter?
- Yes, there was no winter there, there was a teacher.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a black eye, that is, with a great one, no, with coils. But the very rolling, that great whooped.
- How did you goof off?
- Well, covered up. into small pieces. Now understand?
- Understood. I realized that you do not know Russian at all.
- I don't know how!
- Can you imagine if everyone spoke the way you do, what would happen?
- What?
Do you remember Gogol's? “Wonderful is the Dnieper in calm weather, when it freely and smoothly rushes through forests and mountains full of its waters, neither rustles nor thunders.
- I remember.
- Now listen to how it sounds in your bzik language: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, roaming and showing off, it saws its cool waves through forests and mountains. you don't know if he saws or doesn't saw. A rare bird with a schnobel combs up to the middle of the Dnieper. Do you like?
- I like it, - he said and ran, shouting: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather."
(Lion Izmailov)

11. A young man in a nightclub

Characters: girl, young man, mother

A girl is sitting at the bar. A young man approaches her.

Young man: Hey babe! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there are some.
YOUNG MAN: Can you come with me? I will arrange an unforgettable evening for you!
GIRL: Sounds. But my mother is waiting for me at 23-00 at home.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Drop it! What are you, 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom? Ha!

Suddenly, a young man's hand confidently takes by the ear. Everyone sees that this is the hand of an aged woman.

YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, Mom! I…
MOM: I don't want to hear! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)

12. Radiologist's office

Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist

Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. The doctor is sitting at the table.
A little boy and a grandmother enter the office.

GRANDMA (pointing to the boy). I've looked all over, there are no points anywhere. I think he swallowed them. All in his grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST (referring to the boy). Have you swallowed granny's glasses?
The boy does not answer.
GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! All in his grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and through and find out everything.
GRANDMA (happily). Yep, got it! Would love to have something like this at home.
RADIOLOGIST (examines the picture). Well, well, well ... You know ... he has here not only glasses, but also a wallet with money. I can’t say for sure, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANDMOTHER. It's not ours, we don't need someone else's. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can’t watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, picks him up by his legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall to the floor.
GRANDMA (grabbing glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don't even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
RADIOLOGIST (twirls the wallet in his hands). No need. But the purse, if possible, I will leave myself as a keepsake.
GRANDMOTHER. It's not ours, not ours, we don't need someone else's.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
RADIOLOGIST (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)

Characters:
Father: Serpent Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Math teacher: Leshy
Geography teacher: Kikimora
Botany Teacher: Witch
Class teacher: Water

ZMEY GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher's room):
... Yes, I told him a hundred times! ..
So what did he do again?

LESHIY:
Multiply a minus with a sine -
Got a minus one!

KIKIMORA:
Confused albinos
With albatrosses...

WITCH:
Threw apricots...

KIKIMORA:
Blowing soap bubbles!

LESHIY:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!

KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And infected everyone with a yawn!

WATER:
But yesterday
dragged to class
Behemoth!!!

LESHIY:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!

BABA YAGA (unctuous):
Maybe give him poison?
Or throw it to the wolves?
AM -
And there is no bad student!

KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our age
Such measures are outdated.

LESHIY:
A hundred years ago
We would have it
Certainly,
Ate...
But now
We have
Not many students
In reserve...

WATER:
Agree!
Let's not run
To extreme measures.

WITCH:
Let's try to get him
Good example.

ZMEY GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmmm... Less, more...
That is, more or less!
And yet...

WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example doesn't work...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!

BABA YAGA:
Oh, how much trouble with children! ..

DRAGON:
Lock him in the closet - let him learn lessons!
And if he doesn't stop yawning...

ALL IN CHOIR:
We will turn it
In chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)

14. Daily routine

Characters:

Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya

PETER:
- And you, Vova, do you know what a regime is?

VOVA:
- Certainly! Regime… Regime is where I want, I jump there.

PETER:
- Wrong! Routine is the order of the day. Are you doing it?

VOVA:
- I even overfulfill it.

PETER:
- Like this?

VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I need to walk twice a day, and I walk four!

PETER:
- No, you are not overfulfilling it, but breaking it! Do you know what the daily routine should be?

VOVA:
- I know! Climb. Charger. Washing. Bed cleaning. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.

PETER:
- Fine.

VOVA:
- And it can be even better.

PETER:
- How is it?

VOVA:
- Like this! Climb. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.

PETER:
- Oh no. In this mode, you will turn out to be a lazy and ignoramus.

VOVA:
- Will not work.

PETER:
- Why?

VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we carry out the whole regimen.

PETER:
- How is it with your grandmother?

VOVA:
- And so. Half of it is done by me, and half by my grandmother. And together it turns out the whole regime.

PETER:
- I don't understand!

VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lifting. Charging is performed by the grandmother. Washing is a grandmother. Bed cleaning - grandmother. Breakfast is me. Walk - me. Cooking lessons - my grandmother and I. Walk - me. Lunch is me.

PETER:
- Aren't you ashamed?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.

https://website/smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej/

15. About Pushkin

Two duelists stand opposite each other. One of them is Pushkin.

Second: Come on!

Pushkin and his opponent raise their pistols. Approach barriers. Pushkin's opponent makes a shot. Pushkin is wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.

Pushkin: For what?

Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, they left me for the second year in literature !!!

16. School riddles

Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov

SCHOOLCHILD (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing to a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is slow-witted! Here I came across interesting riddles about school affairs, and riddles should be in rhyme. Of course, I guessed everything right away, and then I decided to test Vovka for quick wits.

SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: “Between two calls, the term is called ...”

VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!

SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that's right, "change" is suitable, but there should be a guess in rhyme!

VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, he himself said that it was right, and then you start ...

SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me give you another riddle, just think before you say the answer. “The athlete told us: Everyone go to the sports ...”

VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts):
Shop!

SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? For what? Where did you see him?

VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? I need to buy new sneakers, otherwise the sole of mine is already lagging behind on my left foot. And the Sporting Goods store is right in front of the school. You, too, have seen him a hundred times.

SCHOOLBOY (to the side of the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!

SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Can you solve this riddle in rhyme? “Schools are not simple buildings, schools get…”

VOVKA SIDOROV:
Over the head! Yesterday, I almost didn’t touch the bow at Lenka Petrova’s, and she bang-bang me with a book on the head.

SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to another riddle: “And today I got another grade…”

VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts):
Three, three I again received in mathematics.

STUDENT (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well Vovka and slow-witted! Well dumbass! Although ... I look, his face is cunning, tricky. Maybe he played me? Today is April 1st!!!
(Leonid Medvedev)

17. About parents

A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.

Man: Hello, honey! … Did our Mishka do his homework? … Yes? How about in his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he leave the room? Crap! Did you eat soup? Nothing ... I just went to the store, and then the sale of belts!

Interesting and funny stories with the participation of mischievous children all the time take place in the school walls. We invite you to plunge into school life and learn about schoolchildren.

Scene about a new teacher

Scene "At break"

Interesting scene about the globe

***********************

Pugachev was the first reliable historical name in my childhood. Although the nanny called the kings by their names, I confused them, these Alexandrovs and Nikolaevs were the First, Second, Third ... They were placed somewhere far away, in St. Petersburg, surrounded by senators and generals. And in the Mpassky plant they pointed directly to the Verkhneuralsky tract, which went past the hospital, from where Pugachev came here with the Cossacks and the mine workers. I don’t know if this is historically true, but the inhabitants of the Miass plant claimed so. When we were children, we played Pugachevites and soldiers - the game was to catch Pugachev, not to let him run out of the garden, and if he ran out, then he won ...
Pugachevskaya Sopka towered above Lake Turgoyak, and Pugachev, as if fleeing from the tsarist troops, threw a bag with his treasury into the magical swampy lake Yanyshkul. The soldiers dug a ditch to lower Yanyshkul and Turgoyak, a stone dam stood on its own across this ditch, water from Yanyshkul flows through, but does not decrease. I saw all this with my own eyes.
I brought to the Urals vague memories of a different, sun-burnt, sandy land, where the cities were called somehow differently, in a southern, Soliych way: Odessa and Kherson, Melitopol, Nikopol, Sevastopol, Simferopol ... It seemed to me that that from these very names breathes dry heat and sand. Here the names sounded completely different, grassy-moist, as if the mountain echo was heard in the words - Syrostan, Miass, Issyk-Kul, Kisyagach, Turgoyak ...
And the nanny called completely unfamiliar places: Kaluga, Tula, Orel, Ryazan (she pronounced "Rezan"). She came here because of her own (native) sister, who married a local. The nanny praised her native places, the local people, and said that the local people are wild, non-; friendly and talks awkwardly. And it is true that when, having arrived in Moscow, I went to the bathhouse for the first time and asked them to sell me a coat of arms, meaning a washcloth, I was perplexed; asked again.
“on the ground” to say “manure” and it was not easy to refuse to liken such a word as “vica”, it is still more expressive for me than “twig” or “branch”.
Of course I can't remember what interweaving of family circumstances brought the nanny from the Oryol region to the Miass plant. I can't remember, but I don't want to think. But she had a lot of relatives and in-laws here, and under the guise of a walk, we went with her (what was strictly forbidden to us!) To visit her relatives, in small houses - their long row ran right into the forest and was visible from our windows. On the edge stood a small hut with two windows, where my imagination settled a sorceress - a constant character in my nanny's fairy tales. For some reason, Nyashsha's relatives and acquaintances lived in this row - probably from there she came to us to be hired so as not to leave her relatives. There she was called both godfather and godmother, there I was treated to fragrant-sour kvass, store-bought gingerbread with raisins - in a word, everything that in our strictly medical house was not supposed to be given to children. One day at the fair, I began to ask my mother to buy pink gingerbread. Mother said that it was disgusting, that they were painted and therefore poisonous. I assured her that opi are very tasty and not in the least poisonous.
- How do you know? Where did you try them?
My mother got angry, frightened me, and I confessed. The nanny received a reprimand and then reproached me and threatened that she would not take it with her anymore, but she took it again ...
We went to church with her. There was no religion in our house. Not only did my father not believe in God himself, but as an active atheist and naturalist, as far as I remember, he had cruel conversations with me about the fact that after death the body will turn into earth, and grass will grow from the earth, which will be eaten by a cow, and the milk from the cow will be the thread of some boy there. He claimed that this is the only immortality.

Funny sketches about school become decoration of almost every children's holiday. KVN, held in the native walls, New Year's party, the birth of the school - but you never know great reasons to have fun!

We are pleased to offer you a selection of several scenes that will help create a festive mood.

Short dialogues

The little ones about school offered here do not require decorations and memorization of long texts at all.

One student sleepily says to another:

I must be allergic!

Why do you say that?

Yes, I cover myself with a blanket and sleep all the time!

Two students after a geography lesson:

I still don't believe the earth is spinning!

Why so?

Yes, if it were spinning, the sea would have splashed long ago!

The doppelgänger angrily informs his friend:

You imagine? The teacher demanded that I name the simplest, which reproduces by division! I'm not good at math at all!

In the computer class

The following funny scenes about school also do not require special decorations. Only the latter will need an imitation of a computer class.

A stupid high school girl, showing off, looks at the tablet, as if in a mirror:

My light, mirror, tell me! Yes, tell the whole truth! Am I the sweetest in the world? Everyone is slimmer and more fashionable?

Mirror (drawn, but angrily):

I'll give you my answer! You frazzled me out! I am a tablet!

The student asks the teacher:

Ivan Ivanovich, did you have a tablet as a child?

No, what are you, then there were no computers!

And what did you play?

On the street!

The cleaner comes into the computer room and asks sternly:

Who here knows how to use computers?

All students, without exception, answer: "I am."

Cleaning lady (terribly):

Then urgently go online and look for a site where they teach how to use the toilet!

School anniversary scene: funny and not very long

This scene requires only the characteristic features of the actors. "Nerd" should be wearing glasses and speak strictly, and the girl and her girlfriend should look silly, cutesy and enthusiastic.

A guy who looks like a typical "nerd" tells his friend:

Imagine, Tomka called me home to see what was wrong with her computer! I come, and she, apparently, cannot sit in one place at all! It spins on the chair, so the cord is wound around the leg of the chair. I swore, untangled the cord, inserted the plug that popped out, turned on her computer and left.

Tomochka, rolling his eyes, enthusiastically tells his classmate:

Oh, this Lyutikov also knows how to conjure!

What are you?!

Well, yes, he came to me, looked intently at the computer, raised his hands up, whispered something mystical, turned my chair 10 times counterclockwise, kicked the computer with his foot, whispered something mystical again and left. Guess it all worked!

Classmate, admiringly:

Wow! Witch!

Very funny scenes about school

After explaining in the lesson of natural history, the teacher asks the class:

Well, now you understand why it snows in winter, but not in summer?

Petrov, from the place:

Of course it's understandable! If it fell in the summer, it would melt!

At the Russian language lesson, the teacher says:

Petrov, “I am studying, you are studying, he is studying” - what time is this?

Petrov, with a sigh:

Lost, Mary Ivanna!

Friends come up to the excellent student and say:

Andryukha, let's go to a cafe with the girls tonight!

Andrew thought:

No, I won't go with you! There is music roaring, everyone is making noise ...

So what?

Yes, I doubt that in such an environment I will be able to fully understand the essence of the Lebesgue-Stieltjes integral.

Sketches for younger students

The following funny skits are for elementary school. They can be successfully shown at a holiday with kids. True, high school students will have to help their younger comrades in this.

A high school student says to his friends:

Look how stupid this first grader is! I'll show you now!

He calls the baby and, when he comes up, says to him:

In this hand I have 50 rubles, and in this hand 10 - what will you take for yourself?

The kid takes 10 rubles. High school students laugh, twist their fingers at the temple, shrug.

A friend of a first grader on the sidelines asks him:

Why did you choose 10 rubles?

Well, if I choose 50, then it's game over!

A first grader examines a high school girl's manicure (admiringly):

Wow, what long nails you have!

High school student, coyly:

What do you like?

Well, yes! With them, probably, it is so convenient to climb trees!

Mom looks in the diary of a first grader. And there the deuce is crossed out, and there is a four next to it. Mom, with horror:

Vanechka! What it is?!

Vanechka, calmly looking at her mother:

The teacher told us that if we want, we can correct a bad grade!

Scenes with teachers

The following funny short scenes about school can be played by yourself, or you can invite teachers to participate in them.

Conversation with the teacher:

Sidorkin, didn't you promise me that you would correct your deuce?

Yes, Mary Ivanna.

Didn't I promise to call your parents if you don't?

Yes, Mary Ivanna, but if I did not keep my promise, then you can not keep yours either!

The teacher sternly looks at the latecomer:

Semyon! You're late again! What is it this time?

Semyon, guilty:

Mary Ivanna, I woke up, looked at the time, and blinked unsuccessfully.

The music teacher turns to mommy:

Your daughter needs to play the piano more!

Mom, sighing heavily:

Lord, so much more! Our seventh neighbor has already moved out!

Dreams Dreams...

These little ones about school will already require minimal decorations showing that the guys have left the school, although these conversations can also take place at recess. It all depends on the imagination of the director.

Sidorov, sighing heavily, goes home from school. Ivanov asks him:

Sidorov, what are you doing? Did you get a double?

Sidorov sadly:

And adds dreamily:

Imagine how much easier it would be to learn if a theorem in geometry could be proved with the words: “Yes, you see!”

The guy is dreamy: “It would be great if we could read minds! I would then know what to answer in the lesson!

His buddy: “Yeah, and I would also know what the teacher thinks when you answer wrong!”

Romantic relationship

Of course, funny short scenes about school cannot ignore how unexpectedly sometimes sympathy between boys and girls is shown at school.

Little Johnny escorts Masha home from school and says to her hesitantly:

Listen, Masha, I want to confess to you (pause), (then he speaks quickly) while you were walking to the blackboard, I tore off the wings of a fly and threw it into your briefcase! I'm sorry!

Masha, narrowing her eyes cunningly:

I wonder if it's tasty?

Vovochka is confused:

I don't know... What are you asking?

Masha calmly:

Yes, I want to apologize too! I threw it into your soup in the dining room while you went out for bread!

Let's laugh a little more

Even the funniest scenes about school are often taken directly from life, so the organizers of the holiday can come up with something similar themselves.

At a Russian language lesson, Vovochka asks a neighbor in his desk:

Hear how to say correctly: cottage cheese or cottage cheese?

Neighbor, adjusting his glasses, with a smart look:

Emphasis on "o"!

Vovochka, after a pause:

Thank you! Rescued, so rescued!

A classmate (in appearance - an excellent student) says, sighing:

Yes, Lozhkin, you are not friends with your head at all!

Lozhkin, shrugging his shoulders:

And I have a purely business relationship with her - I feed her, and she thinks!

Conversation with the teacher

Funny sketches about school - whether you arrange KVN or other fun events - are not complete without dialogues similar to those below.

The teacher is talking to a fashionably dressed high school student:

Lerochka, well done, you stopped being late for school!

Yes, Mary Ivanna, it's all because of my mother.

Did she have an educational conversation with you?

No, she just bought herself chic Italian boots!

So what?

Like what? Now I get up first to have time to put them on before my mother! (Proudly retires)

The teacher throws up her hands.

An elderly teacher, sighing, says to her colleague:

I'll probably have to quit!

What are you talking about! You are the best teacher in the school!

I’ve earned quite a lot ... I go into the tram in the morning, there are a lot of people, I raise my eyes and say sternly: “Hello, sit down!”

Funny? Of course it's funny!

Funny sketches about school are good because they are easy to play, they do not require exhausting rehearsals. The main thing is that your cheerful mood is transmitted to the audience!

Mitya, do you know what the word "super" means?

Well, yes, this is something so big, more than that already and can not be.

What about hyper?

And the "hyper" ... (Mitya rubs his forehead) Oh! This is what is more "super"!

Girls dancing in the disco

Listen, don't you know what a mosol is?

Well, this is such a huge bone, they put it in borscht. What are you asking?

Yes, I heard a cool song here: “You my heart, You my soul…”

Music from a famous song performed by Modern Talking begins to sound on stage

Petya with a huge "lantern" under his eye and his friend:

Petka, why are you covered in bruises?

Playing snowballs with a girl!

So what?

So she, it turns out, is from the youth handball team! And these don't miss!

Case in the dressing room

Some funny scenes about school require the participation of extras. But they still won't be difficult to set up.

The girls, screaming, are dragging the stubborn guy. The teacher stops them.

Stop! What's happened?!

One of the girls is indignant:

Lyutikov spied on us in the locker room!

The teacher, looking sternly at Lyutikov:

So what, did you like it?

Lyutikov is silent in confusion, then loudly gives out:

Girls in chorus, drawn out and offended:

How not?!

All funny scenes about school, as you understand, must be played sincerely and seriously. Minimal decorations also do not hurt.

On the stage, you can put, for example, two desks and a board to recreate the appearance of a class. If events take place at recess or on the way home, you can dream up. For the "road home" one tree or bench is enough. And the situation taking place in the school corridor can be played out in front of a large window in the background.

The main thing in these scenes is not to overload them with decorations. They are short, and therefore the emphasis should be on what the actor says, and not on what surrounds him at that moment.

To build scenes in one concert, you can invite a host who will tell the audience where this situation is happening. Imagine, and your holiday will definitely be remembered and make the most wonderful impression!